I Love Self Diagnosis

I am not a hypochondriac. I am, however, very self aware. I think this is a good thing when it comes to being healthy and taking care of one's self. When I did massage therapy, I was constantly shocked at how people would come in and say "no major problems" and then I'd find some crazy bulge or bump and advise them to get it checked out. How does one not notice a giant blobby bulge on their side? (That person came back to thank me as it turned out to be something quite serious.)

Since sometimes my doctor is less than helpful (see here), I end up doing my own research and hoping I don't drive the doctor crazy when I have a suggestion as to what I might have going on. 

This weekend I did a lot of research. We traveled up to my in-law's condo in northern Michigan to take advantage of the (predicted) great weather and the long weekend. It started off great, but on Thursday evening I noticed kind of a weird ache in my side. It felt like I had just went jogging (ha!) and I had a side ache. I even mentioned it because I was quite uncomfortable to sit down. I of course ignored it because it really wasn't a big deal and odd things happen - especially when you're pregnant. The next morning after breakfast I noticed that my ribs and shoulder were really achy. I had assumed it was just from sleeping in a different bed, carrying around a toddler, growing in pregnancy, etc etc....

I looked into visiting a chiropractor in the area but I thought it might be tough to manage a new patient visit around a toddler schedule and wasn't convinced it would really do the trick for muscle pain. It continued to get worse anytime I sat down and it became painful to take deep breaths. I don't normally take drugs but I figured it'd be the only thing that really helped in this case since my husband is not a master of therapeutic massage. I called my OB and told them that I had muscle pain, my baby is doing great, and could they prescribe me something to ease the pain so I could carry on with my weekend. 

Unsurprisingly, they offered little to no help and even asked the "are you bleeding?" question that they love to ask. I wanted to give a smart ass response about how yes, I actually delivered my baby, but now my shoulder hurts real bad...can I get some flexoril? They advised me to go to the nearest emergency room because they should rule out a blood clot in my lungs. I explained that it was not difficult to breathe, it just hurt my ribs when I did. So my choices were tylenol or the ER. I know people do this all of the time, but I knew better. I wasn't going to go for this. That is just dumb. 

I carried on through the day doing just fine and we went to a nice dinner in the evening and just a few bites in to my loaded mac n cheese I started to have intense pain in my side and shoulder. I called my brother who is a physician assistant to see what he recommended. I didn't want to go to the ER but knew I needed some relief. He encouraged me to go just to rule out a pulmonary embolism (which of course I knew it was not!) and hopefully get some pain relief that is okay for pregnancy. So we left my delicious food and our family to go to the emergency room. Ack.

I told them my OB told me to come in to rule out a blood clot. And that's it. No further tests. I don't want to be here all night. I have a little girl I'd like to get home to. Since I obviously will not have a blood clot, can I also get a pain reliever that actually works? 

They poked and prodded me and made us wait. I was in so much pain I could barely sit in the hospital bed without them making some major adjustments for me. My baby was looking good and they weren't concerned about my pregnancy. After a few hours they were able to rule out an embolism and they gave me morphine (but one Aleve in the morning was about the end of the world when I called my dr.) for my pain. The morphine helped about 70% but I could still feel the pain when I breathed deeply. They sent me home with some pain pills as well, but I would only take them as a last resort.

I was happy to find out that nothing serious was going on but bummed out that I still had pain after morphine. The next morning I was still very sore and didn't feel well, so I took a prescribed pill. It didn't do a thing. Are you stinkin' kidding me?!

I started to regret not asking for further tests after doing some internet research. I noticed the pain was the worst after eating. I felt so stupid with some of my google searches because I had no idea that the two things could be related. "Shoulder and side hurt while eating" - it makes it sound like I'm shoveling food into my face hole so fast that my body is getting sore. But I actually started to get some answers. At least I knew I wasn't crazy. I do have my routine OB appointment tomorrow so hopefully we can discuss what might be going on and maybe even have another ultrasound to check out a few vital (or non-vital) organs that may be the cause of all this ruckus.

I decided to really watch my diet the last couple of days since I noticed that the pain increased with eating. I ate very little and very bland food. I still had plenty of pain but it didn't last as long. I basically have gone two days eating very little and am feeling much better, but could really use a cheese steak hoagie about now. I'm thinking that's not a great idea.
If I can't eat good food in addition to no longer imbibing libations I may 1) not be as enormously fat as I had predicted and 2) be quite unhappy.
Hopefully I can get some answers soon and start feeling better!

Now that I've bored you with my medical history, it's time to move on with my day.
If you need any help with diagnosing yourself with interesting medical conditions, let me know. I'm happy to google it for you.