Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I Love Self Diagnosis

I am not a hypochondriac. I am, however, very self aware. I think this is a good thing when it comes to being healthy and taking care of one's self. When I did massage therapy, I was constantly shocked at how people would come in and say "no major problems" and then I'd find some crazy bulge or bump and advise them to get it checked out. How does one not notice a giant blobby bulge on their side? (That person came back to thank me as it turned out to be something quite serious.)

Since sometimes my doctor is less than helpful (see here), I end up doing my own research and hoping I don't drive the doctor crazy when I have a suggestion as to what I might have going on. 

This weekend I did a lot of research. We traveled up to my in-law's condo in northern Michigan to take advantage of the (predicted) great weather and the long weekend. It started off great, but on Thursday evening I noticed kind of a weird ache in my side. It felt like I had just went jogging (ha!) and I had a side ache. I even mentioned it because I was quite uncomfortable to sit down. I of course ignored it because it really wasn't a big deal and odd things happen - especially when you're pregnant. The next morning after breakfast I noticed that my ribs and shoulder were really achy. I had assumed it was just from sleeping in a different bed, carrying around a toddler, growing in pregnancy, etc etc....

I looked into visiting a chiropractor in the area but I thought it might be tough to manage a new patient visit around a toddler schedule and wasn't convinced it would really do the trick for muscle pain. It continued to get worse anytime I sat down and it became painful to take deep breaths. I don't normally take drugs but I figured it'd be the only thing that really helped in this case since my husband is not a master of therapeutic massage. I called my OB and told them that I had muscle pain, my baby is doing great, and could they prescribe me something to ease the pain so I could carry on with my weekend. 
Unsurprisingly, they offered little to no help and even asked the "are you bleeding?" question that they love to ask. I wanted to give a smart ass response about how yes, I actually delivered my baby, but now my shoulder hurts real bad...can I get some flexoril? They advised me to go to the nearest emergency room because they should rule out a blood clot in my lungs. I explained that it was not difficult to breathe, it just hurt my ribs when I did. So my choices were tylenol or the ER. I know people do this all of the time, but I knew better. I wasn't going to go for this. That is just dumb. 

I carried on through the day doing just fine and we went to a nice dinner in the evening and just a few bites in to my loaded mac n cheese I started to have intense pain in my side and shoulder. I called my brother who is a physician assistant to see what he recommended. I didn't want to go to the ER but knew I needed some relief. He encouraged me to go just to rule out a pulmonary embolism (which of course I knew it was not!) and hopefully get some pain relief that is okay for pregnancy. So we left my delicious food and our family to go to the emergency room. Ack.

I told them my OB told me to come in to rule out a blood clot. And that's it. No further tests. I don't want to be here all night. I have a little girl I'd like to get home to. Since I obviously will not have a blood clot, can I also get a pain reliever that actually works? 
They poked and prodded me and made us wait. I was in so much pain I could barely sit in the hospital bed without them making some major adjustments for me. My baby was looking good and they weren't concerned about my pregnancy. After a few hours they were able to rule out an embolism and they gave me morphine (but one Aleve in the morning was about the end of the world when I called my dr.) for my pain. The morphine helped about 70% but I could still feel the pain when I breathed deeply. They sent me home with some pain pills as well, but I would only take them as a last resort.

I was happy to find out that nothing serious was going on but bummed out that I still had pain after morphine. The next morning I was still very sore and didn't feel well, so I took a prescribed pill. It didn't do a thing. Are you stinkin' kidding me?!

I started to regret not asking for further tests after doing some internet research. I noticed the pain was the worst after eating. I felt so stupid with some of my google searches because I had no idea that the two things could be related. "Shoulder and side hurt while eating" - it makes it sound like I'm shoveling food into my face hole so fast that my body is getting sore. But I actually started to get some answers. At least I knew I wasn't crazy. I do have my routine OB appointment tomorrow so hopefully we can discuss what might be going on and maybe even have another ultrasound to check out a few vital (or non-vital) organs that may be the cause of all this ruckus.

I decided to really watch my diet the last couple of days since I noticed that the pain increased with eating. I ate very little and very bland food. I still had plenty of pain but it didn't last as long. I basically have gone two days eating very little and am feeling much better, but could really use a cheese steak hoagie about now. I'm thinking that's not a great idea.
If I can't eat good food in addition to no longer imbibing libations I may 1) not be as enormously fat as I had predicted and 2) be quite unhappy.
Hopefully I can get some answers soon and start feeling better!

Now that I've bored you with my medical history, it's time to move on with my day.
If you need any help with diagnosing yourself with interesting medical conditions, let me know. I'm happy to google it for you.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Life in Chaos

In general, I love being organized. "Ha!" say those who know me, because if you've showed up to my house unannounced, you'd think being organized is the last thing I love.
However, haters, given the time and opportunity to get things clutter free and organized, it's such a good feeling.
I've really been using my time in the last week to tackle a few little projects, but until our basement is done, it's going to be next to impossible. We have a spare bedroom that when I redid it a couple of years ago, it was intended to be a craft/sewing area, ebay merchandise, photo boxes, and gift wrap closet. But when we started our basement, we had to move a bunch of junk upstairs to either get it out of the way, or make sure it didn't get dusty. So now the spare room has tons of crap in it. I want to clean it out and get it ready for bg#2 (baby girl number 2) since I have her bedding and her crib and mattress are on the way.
But I cannot clean it out since I have no place to relocate the junk. I'm a big fan of throwing things away, but we actually need all of these things.

Example 1 of why I'm going nuts: I have a massage table from my former career. I had to bring it upstairs from the basement. I had a sale pending, but it fell through. It sat (folded up, and in it's carrying case) in our great room for weeks. We don't use that room for much, but it's the first place you walk into when you come into the house. When we had guests over for my husband's party, Marcus wanted to make sure it was out of the way. So he moved it into our bedroom...where there is also no room. So now, the 30 pound beast is leaning against my dresser so I can't open any of the drawers without leaning it against the bed, or trying to move it back downstairs into the great room.

Example 2 of why I'm going nuts: I had a basket sitting out that I had packaged a Valentine's gift in. It became repurposed when random things were being placed in it. Nook charger sitting out? Put it in that basket. Half used candle - basket time. Medicine bottles that made their way downstairs? Why bring it back upstairs when you can put it in the basket to forget where the hell it is when you have a raging headache? 6 foot grocery receipts? You wanna hang on to that shizz, put it in the basket.

I know it's going to take a while to get the whole house in working order again, but the basement should be done in the next two months, I'd like to say. And then we have a new family member in the next 4 maybe I can enjoy approximately 2 months of an organized home.

hm. doubtful.

Anyone have helpful tips on staying clutter-free and organized when you don't have a place to put your crap?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Way Worse Than Playing With A Cell Phone

Today is Marcus' 30th birthday! It is absolutely gorgeous outside, the weather is perfect. We set up Charlotte's little pool and she splashed and played and chased some bubbles.
After we came back inside after about an hour of playing, I got her changed into a clean, soft diaper, and ready for a nap. It reminded me of the days of being little and how good it felt to change out of my wet bathing suit and put on some warm dry clothes. She scampered around in her fluffy cloth diaper looking cute as can be. I've been putting her exclusively in cloth (except for bedtimes and long outings) since I've been home more in the last week. She's learned to take off her diapers in the last couple of months so I rarely leave her in just a diaper without a layer or two over the top, but it was nap time and sort of hot in her room. I gave her her blankie to snuggle and another to cover her up with. She took her pacifier to drifted off into dream land.

I checked on her about 30 minutes later to make sure she was still covered and warm enough since I didn't put any clothes on her, and she looked cozy.

About 90 minutes later, she woke up from her nap hysterically crying. I figured she had pooped during her nap and she usually doesn't wake up happy if that happens. I planned on changing her, giving her the blanket and having some snuggle time. Then I had visions of a naked baby, poop smeared walls, crusty hair, and general awfulness. I quickly made it upstairs and opened the door to see her standing in her crib. Her room is so doggone dark I could  barely see her, but yep, she was nakey nakey, but not covered in dukie. She was screaming and holding on her pacifer that was caked in #2 on the outside only...and only slightly coated on the paci-side. Oh good gravy, I didn't want to smell her breath. Her diaper was off, still clean and dry, but her favorite blankie had seen better days. Marcus came up and got her in the tub, and she was crying the whole time. Poor thing. I felt terrible for not putting clothes on her. She had a belly full of what they say your cell phone is covered in.
Marcus assured me that it wasn't likely that she picked it up and actually munched it, but I still feel absolutely disgusted by it. After her bath, a change of clothes, some warm milk (makes everything better!) She is doing much better, but I'm not so sure I want her poopy kisses anytime soon.

Yes this was gross. But you should be thankful that I didn't include pictures in this post.

Happy May 20!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

My First Week as a SAHM

I loved it. I love it so much. I love it more than I thought I would. I know I'm only one week in, and there will be times where I want to tear my hair out and just take a vacation from home. But right now, I feel so happy.

The first few days Charlotte woke up super early (for her) and even though I didn't love that, I did love snuggling in my bed while she watched Disney Jr.
I didn't get as much done as I thought I would in the first week, but I tackled at least one small project every day. But even better than that, I spent quality time with the sweetest little girl.

I filled up the splash and scoop bay and after we started playing, I realized my husband had fertilized the lawn the day before. I asked him if he thought it was okay, or if we should wait. He recommended waiting...but it was too late.
The feet! They burn! 
Mommy makes me play too much.

We went to lunch with a friend of mine and a former coworker so I still get all the juicy work gossip, which usually goes something like this "And then this old guy? He needed a cane, but he got one in 2011 and I forgot to get him to sign ABN! Whaaat?!"

Today we even made it to the zoo with another friend and her little girl and enjoyed the most perfect weather that May has to offer. Charlotte slept until 8:40 after I put some blackout fabric over her windows. I knew it'd be the perfect day to have a morning activity with just one nap in the afternoon, but the little stinker fell asleep in the car 3 minutes after we left the zoo! But then a couple hours later she took a killer nap.

zonked. she had drool EVERYWHERE.
Why does Darby have buttons??

This weekend my dear husband celebrates his 30th birthday, and we are having a bash at our place, and since my initial plans to throw him a themed party were thrown out the window (by him!), tomorrow I will finish up the last minute details and get the house ready to have everyone over. Last year I blogged about how I didn't know what to get him for his birthday, and I could basically say the same thing this year, but we agreed that since we're finishing the basement and we just got a sweet TV, that can be his happy birthday.

OH, except I found this gem...that he WILL be opening as his gift at his party.
This is a framed 2'x3' poster that I found at my  neighbor's garage sale. Why would anyone ever sell this?
Happy Birthday, Marcus!!

It won't be a complete surprise, since I showed him this picture before I bought it, but I'm hoping he forgot about it.

All in all, it was the perfect week!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Interpret This.

I've always been a big dreamer. Not like a goals and aspirations dreamer, but like a "oh crap I'm driving my car onto a roller coster!!" dreamer.
When I was pregnant with Charlotte I thought I would have the craziest dreams just knowing what's normal for me, but as it turned out, I barely had any that I remembered. I never once dreamt about a baby or being pregnant.
However, this time around, I've been having nutso dreams. Big, detailed dreams that I remember specifics of when I wake up. Dreams that stick with me for days. Some are funny, some are,, some are just odd.
It's no surprise that I dreamed what I did this week, considering my job status change, but it was weird, nevertheless.
In my dream, I started a job at Arby's. (I worked there in real life when I was 16 for a summer.)
I wasn't embarrassed about it or anything, especially since they had amazing incentives. Hello Beef and Cheddars! What! There were all these tests one would have to pass to work there, and I was passing with flying colors. I was going to be the best employee Arby's had ever seen! I loved everything about it, except for those teens I had to work with. They didn't give a shit about food quality and were terrible at presentation! I was all "Would YOU eat this??" and they were all "You're old. why do you work here?"

Then. THEN! My dream last night really stuck with me. It occurred after 6am this morning and I think that's why it haunted me all day. I dreamt that I had the new baby and after a few weeks, I forgot her name. I simply could not remember what I named my second born daughter. We were on some family outing and when I was really stressed about it, NO ONE would tell me what I named her. Apparently it was a super awful name, and they all felt that if they kept it from me, I would give her a new name. I thought there was no way I would have given her a terrible name, and that everyone must be mistaken. I asked everyone I knew, and I even went back to previous blog posts certain that I must have mentioned her name somewhere. I only referred to her as "i". A lowercase italics "I" was the name I used on my blog. So I racked my brain trying to think of what names that start with "I" that I would have named her. I came up with nothing! Marcus finally told me the name I chose. He explained that I chose it while I was very loopy from the drugs at the hospital.
The name was "Hiya."
I was humiliated! Why would I choose that name? I couldn't believe that no one told me it wasn't a good idea. I don't know why I forgot it in the first place.
When I finally woke up, I grabbed my belly and literally breathed a sigh of relief. There is still a little hope left for this unborn child.
WTF, self?

I need to do less baby name finding online and more watching Justin Bieber singing Carly Rae Jepson's song before bed because then I have awesome dreams about becoming besties with Justin and Selena.

Feel free to interpret this for me.

oh...and sweet dreams!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Paging Dr. Internet

I've determined that I no longer need a doctor for my prenatal care. If there's any concern I might have, I will consult the internet. The internet is not condescending. (Well, Yahoo answers is, but I avoid taking advice from trolls.) The internet doesn't make me stand on a scale and make me do math in my head. The internet is filled with friends just waiting to give out personal advice, while my doctor only gives me statistics.

Unless my baby is coming out right.this.minute, my doctor is not concerned about me or my pregnancy. Debilitating pelvic pain? Stretch.
I tell him I don't know how to stretch my bones. He says it's the only thing that will help.
Can I wear carry my 16 month old in a back carrier at 20 weeks pregnant? He says "if you want."
C-section incision pain? He responds with kneading my uterus like a ball of dough.
The internet has not done any of that. In fact, the internet has only made me forget about those problems by making me laugh!

Eucalyptus oil has not been proven to be safe for use during pregnancy.
I learned that from the internet. Not my doctor.

Way funnier than a pamphlet on menopause (the only reading material while I wait for my doctor)

My next dog shall be named Sting. (I'm not sure how to relate this to my OB)

I don't know how to break the news to my doctor, but my guess is that he won't notice that I don't show up for the next 4-5 months. But the internet beckons me daily. Seemingly telling me, "come back! there's more hilarity to come!" and "Babysteals is the bomb!" And it is. Babysteals is the bomb.
Sure, Pinterest can't deliver my baby. But I bet I could find a blog post pinned on Pinterest that tells me how to deliver my own baby. In your face, DOCTOR.

Friday, May 4, 2012

I'm About To Have A Lot More Time On My Hands

This week I quit my job.

I feel like I should have all kinds of things to say. But I don't. I always figured I would work at least part time after I had kids. But over the last few months I started to feel stressed about the constant state of disaster in my home. I cried about being a failure at having dinner on the table. I disliked having to rush around in the mornings and evenings to get places on time. I do not have great time management skills. (sarcastic "you? no!" from every single one of my teachers growing up).
Working part time has been mostly great, except that I treated my days off as "days off", and just chilled and got some things done here and there. By the time the weekend rolled around I was all ticked off at how much I had to do around the house!
I mentioned the the idea of a budget a couple weeks ago, and this was all in preparation. We can make it work, but not without some sacrifices! I think I'm ready. I'm nervous for this new chapter in my life. It certainly doesn't feel real yet, and it might not for a while.

This morning I spent a few minutes clipping coupons while enjoying a cup of coffee next to my peanut butter schmeared child and thought "this really isn't so bad at all." Except for Darby licking the air next to Charlotte in hopes that maybe the tip of her tongue would collect some peanut butter residue whilst Charlotte was flailing. The dog seriously looked possessed.
I could get used to this.

I think it will be a much easier transition going to full time stay at home mom from part time working mom, rather than full time working to full time SAHM. I am really looking forward to my time with Charlotte this summer before the new baby arrives in September. I absolutely know there will be challenges with this transition, especially with the lack of structure staying at home often creates. I should also mention that I will be doing some work from home with my husband's eBay business. It could use a little streamlining and organizing and nothing suits me better than to look at what someone else is doing and telling them what's wrong with it. Especially when it's my husband!

So that's what's new in Emily World.

It's another GIRL!
In 13 years, poor Marcus is going to be under attack with the raging hormones of a girls only summer camp.
Of all the great things to list about having another girl, that is the one I chose.
I'll get sappy later, I'm sure.

Now in the fashion of my new favorite blogger: , I leave you with a question in italics:

If you stay at home full time, what do you like about it? What do you loathe?