Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Make Way for Charlotte Jane! (Part II)

So I left off where we discovered that the vacuum is a piece of crap and can't do it's job.

Basically, baby Charlotte was stuck. In my mind, it seemed as if we could have tried other, tarot cards, something. But the only option left was a c-section. I was pretty calm about it, but really disapointed.

I'll cut to the chase here. A c-section when you aren't planning on one totally sucks. I would have gladly pushed for another hour to deliver that baby. There's something so rewarding about doing all of that work to bring your little baby into the world, and having someone else take it our for you, makes me feel sad.

But oh well.

They brought me into the operating room and gave me a spinal and lots and lots of drugs. I kept on feeling the "pokes and pinches" they asked me about. So after 4 times of saying "yeah, pokes and pinches!!" I finally couldn't feel....anything. No emotions. Not a nice feeling after your baby is "born". I didn't want to tell the drs. that I had double vision because who knows what they would have given me to counteract that.

I was so relieved to be done with the surgery. It was about 45 minutes total, half of that time was just sewing me back up, while I watched my baby (where she looked like two babies) from 10 feet away. So close...yet soo far.

Once we got into recovery, I was finally able to hold and snuggle and feed her, nothing can top that feeling. I was high as a kite on a cocktail of narcotics. But I bet even without the drugs, I would have liked holding her for the first time. :)

Ok. She's squealing now. You get the picture. That was the story of her birth.
Must tend to the princess!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Make Way for Charlotte Jane! (Part I)

Oh my! Where to begin?
This post has been a week in the making, hard to find the time! :)

I suppose I'll start with December 31. New Years Eve. I was scheduled to work my last day before taking maternity leave. It would technically leave me about 2 weeks off before my due date. I would try to get some things done around the house in preparation for the baby.

My list included: window treatments for the baby's room, blinds for the laundry room and kitchen. Clean the carpet in the family room, make room in bedroom for bassinet. Oh, and get a pedicure.

Well, on that Friday, Dec. 31, I was told that I would have to work at least one day in the new year to qualify for short term disability benefits. I thought I had asked this question a few weeks earlier, but apparently I didn't ask it correctly. I had already packed up my desk and dealt with the strange feelings that come along with leaving a certain part of your life behind...even if you are coming back, it will never be the same. But whatever. I had to work Monday.

I had a drs. appointment on Monday morning, and the doctor said I had a big baby for 38 weeks. I was dilated to 1.5cm (which was always different depending on which dr I saw...) and 80% effaced. He said that there's no way of really telling when baby will come.

Okay, blog readers, I know most of you are probably women, so it's really not all that too much to handle, but I'm sorry to you, dude blog readers, that you will read the following.

The dr. left the room and I got ready for work. Then I saw it...blood. everywhere. Way more than they tell you is normal after an exam. I asked to have the dr. come back in, and at first he just said "don't worry about it", but then he checked me again...dilated to 2.5 cm...within like 5 minutes! He responded with "huh." And said maybe tonight is the night!! But also assured me that it could still be more than 2 weeks.

I went to work for the day. I sat at my empty desk and took some calls...just kind of waited for the day to be over. I felt average. I have felt average for weeks. Nothing really felt different.

I scheduled a pedicure *just* in case tonight was the night. I knew I wanted a pedi before hand because I wouldnt have time for one for a long time afterwards.

After work, I went to the salon to have my toes polished, I teased the nail tech and asked her to massage the spot above my ankle to induce labor. She said she'd try.

I went home, we had grilled cheese, tomato basil soup, and carrots. Gourmet!!

I was feeling pretty good about being done with work and ready to enjoy at least a few days off before baby! I had only slept about 4 hours the night before and was feeling tired, so I took a sleep aid and went to bed at 10pm. At 10:30, just as I was falling asleep, I felt something.

Like a little pop. Enough to make my get up and make sure I didn't just pee myself as I was falling asleep. As soon as I got to the bathroom it was very obvious what had happened. My water had broken!! No doubt about it.

It was a feeling so much like taking the positive pregnancy test. Where it was sort of a very quick back and forth in my head "nope, this isn't it" " oh NO WAY!!! yes it is!"

So I stood at the top of the stairs and called to Marcus...

"Hey Hon?"


"My water broke."

"Are you serious?!"

I called the drs. answering service and the on-call dr. called me back and let me know I can go ahead and get ready but to get to the hospital soon. So I actually took a shower, so I could plan in my head what we needed to before our big voyage to the hospital. If you've ever had your water break at home, you'll know there's not much you can do besides either get to the hospital or stand in the shower (or just stay in the bathroom for eternity.)

We made it to the hospital by midnight, they checked me out, and brought me to labor and delivery. My contractions had not really started yet. I was having irregular, but strong contractions within 2 hrs of water breaking. I was handling them great. They were coming every 2-3 minutes, lasting a minute. They were getting soo strong. Too strong to cry about it, I was shaking and wanted to climb the walls. The nurses were so wonderful and encouraging, I seriously love them. Marcus also did a great job, but to be honest, I have a hard time remembering the details.

At about 3am, after breathing through contractions with little to no break in between, I asked to be checked. I was at a 5. A FIVE?! COME ON!!

I decided it was time for some pain relief. We talked about our options some more, but opted to do the epidural so I could get some rest before pushing. I felt as if I let myself down a little, because I wanted to see how far I could go without an epidural. Apparently not very far.
It took about 45 minutes after the request for an epidural to the time where it actually kicked in. It was perfect. I had almost full control of my legs so I could move myself around if I needed to, yet it lended such relief that I was able to get a couple of hours of light sleep.

At 8:30 they checked me again and I was dilated to a 9, and was told that I would probably have a baby before noon. I was SO EXCITED. What an incredible a few hours I would be holding my sweet, sweet baby. I wasn't scared, I was pumped up!

At 9:30 it was time to start pushing. I have never felt so good about myself..working so hard to bring a new life into the world. My contractions were coming probably every 2-3 minutes and I would push 3-5 times during each one. An hour went by. I had no idea how long it should take, and I asked the nurse what the longest someone had pushed for with her, and she said 4 hours. YIKES. But that first hour flew by...I knew I could do this!
Entering into the 2nd hour, the dr said that baby was not in the best position. Basically, she was getting stuck. We tried everything to get her to move, and my contractions were very painful...I was getting tired and sat a few contractions out.
I was told that we have a couple of options. I can continue to push for a little longer, but if it doesn't work, they'll have to use the vacuum. If the vacuum doesn't work, our only option is c-section.
I was very calm about it. I really felt as if I was getting somewhere, but when I found out that I wasn't, I was really dissapointed. We tried the vacuum. Miserable. SO GLAD I had the epidural!!!
I have no idea how much time went by while he used it, but I hated it, and it didn't work.

Part II to come...

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Looking ahead to 2011...

What a year. What a decade!

Of course a lot of change takes place in a decade. To attempt to recap it would be slightly ridiculous. If digital photography was as prominent then as it is now, it'd be easier for me to look though various computer folders and determine what exactly was accomplished during those 10 years. I think it was a good 10 years over all.

I've thought about writing a letter to the 18 year old me. Telling her what she should have worked harder on, and what she should have worried about less. I would tell her that she did a great job. However, I am not sure what the point of writing to a past-life me would be. She wouldn't listen, because 28 year olds are old and lame.

38 year olds are even more lame! Maybe I could write a letter to the future me. The me in 10 years. Should I tell her that she better not be wearing mom jeans? Should I remind her of how much fun Marcus and I have together...or will she still know that? Maybe I'll mention how at this point, no children here yet, but one on the way, how I *think* raising children should be. Maybe she'll get a good laugh, or maybe she'll be doing it just as I intended. I think she'll listen because 28 year olds are awesome. :)

So, looking ahead to 2011, I know it's going to be a big year for us. It's going to be challenging, but rewarding (right?). We may be replacing last minute long weekends away with planning and packing. We may swap late nights out for late nights up. I just *might* be exchanging massages, facial treatments and leisure time with wiping snotty noses, cleaning up diaper blow outs, and calming a crying child.

I am just as much thrilled as I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. Absolutely thrilled.

Here's to an incredible 2011, and an unprecitable new decade!