Randomness

Here are my random thoughts for Tuesday, November 29.

Me to the car in front of me : Why are you slowing down? Oh, are you turning into your driveway? Why don't you use your blinker, you idiot? Why do you wait until your garage door is all the way up before pulling into your driveway? Don't you realize I'm behind you and I have to go to the bathroom so I'd like to get home?

Today I feel like an grumpy old lady. I was shopping at a (one of my favorite) kid's clothing store today. The teen sales associate asks if there's anything she can help me with. When I asked her a question, she answered with "Ugh. my brain is fried! FINALS!!!" <silence and a crinkled brow by yours truly>  Maybe it's because I work in customer service or maybe it's because I'm a grumpy old lady, but seriously, chick? Your job is to help, especially since you asked me if you could help. Your job is not to tell me that you cannot actually help me because you have been facebook chatting about why Team Edward would dominate Team Jacob on the streets of Detroit and looking at damnyouautocorrect.com when you should be studying for finals, you dingbat.

There is a sickness going around, and it's miserable. I'm doing better, but my husband isn't feeling so well. But regardless of that, he's meeting some clients for dinner, doing some Christmas shopping, and playing a soccer game, just to wake up for a 7am meeting tomorrow. Dude, take care of yourself!

Have I shared my glitter obsession with you this year? I have ALWAYS loved all things sparkly, but this year it is out in FULL FORCE, yo! And the worst part is, I have no holiday parties to attend! What the what!? How can one wear sequins to an office and not look like they've gone insane? I know Glamour would have all kinds of suggestions on how to wear them during the day, but Glamour doesn't work at a medical supply company.

My dog is currently acting a fool. She got spooked by the couch and is now laying on top of me. The couch did nothing to her, exept allowing her years of comfort.

Charlotte is almost 1. oh. m. g.

EDIT: I forgot to mention the total creeper Santa we met today! He was crabby, his beard was yellow, and he was anything but jolly. His beard was yellow.

Thankful

Today I am more thankful than I've ever been. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.
It's so easy to take what we have for granted, and just rattle off what we're thankful for without really reflecting on it. But today, I truly have thought this out.
My husband and I both have jobs that enable us to stay on top of our bills and then some.
We have a stocked fridge and pantry with nutritious food.
We have a warm home, even if we choose to keep it at arctic temperatures.
We have a beautiful daughter who is healthy, smart, strong, funny and the stinking light of my life.
We have "we". A wonderful marriage (that of course is not wonderful every moment) - my husband is easily the greatest man I know. He is reasonable and level headed which is the perfect balance to my crazy and impulsive nature.
We have wonderful and loving families.
We are so healthy it's sickening.

I'm not sure what we did to deserve this crazy outpouring of blessings but I am so grateful. SO grateful.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, friends.

Baby Talk

Tonight I am saying special prayers for some special people.

One friend in the adoption process. It must be such a long journey with lots of roadblocks. But I will pray for patience for you.
Two friends who have newborn babies. If you're reading this, it's okay to lose your mind by week three, but praying that it won't come to that.
Three friends who are waiting for those two pink lines.
And a few more friends who wait as their due date approaches.

Wishing you all a restful night where you can feel a sense of peace.

xoxo
Emily

Raise Your Hand If You're Perfect!

I had a few friends share a link on facebook today. It's about crazy perfect moms. You know the ones who do everything just right all of the time, yadda yadda yadda...and how we have so much pressure to be that way...you can read it here.

I have a confession. I'm perfect.

omg just kidding that's not what I was going to confess.

I am confessing that I don't feel remotely bad about not being perfect. Yeah, I have bad days. I have days where I turn on back to back episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba on Demand for my TEN month old. I am fully aware that the American Academy of Pediactrics says no television until your kid is 2 or something, but seriously? Do they remember what it's like when your kid drops a nap?

I would love a clean house and a stocked pantry and folded laundry and groomed brows. I would love to be on work on time every day and not be moody towards my husband. Bath time followed by quiet time and book reading sounds delightful, but sometimes it's a sticky faced child feeding herself a bottle while I load the dishwasher. This all sounds great, but I don't feel bad about it. The only thing is that I almost feel like I should feel bad. This is so screwed up!

Dr. Meeker has a great point when she asks what children really want from their moms. "If you are brutally honest, you will discover that kids need mothers who love them, value them and adore them. When they leave home they need to have a deep sense that they are valued and loved for who they are. They don’t need us to perform for them; they need us to love being with them."

Somehow (and perhaps I should credit my own mother for this), I came into motherhood already feeling this way. I certainly hope that Charlotte grows up feeling loved, valued, and adored, rather than grossed out that there was dog hair on her pacifier and crumbs under her highchair. (The dog gets those anyway.)

Ok. where was I? Oh yes, my point. My point/question is : Am I the ONLY one who doesn't feel the need to be a perfect mom? (And I hesitate to ask, because I feel like I am!!)

Food Blog

Ok. It's not ready yet, but I am working on it. I have a few unpublished posts and a terrible layout. It's just embarrassing.
I will say that weight watchers is going awesome. I've been cooking SO much more and I really enjoy it.
Going to the meetings is probably the biggest help though. If you've ever tried weight watchers on your own and "failed" (whatever your definition might be) meetings are key! Weighing in each week and getting some tips and ideas to prepare you for the next week is what keeps me motivated. I've lost nearly 8 lbs in just under a month! If I could lose another 5-8, I'd be thrilled, and that seems like nothing when I really think about it. I feel so proud of myself (for once). I can't really tell a difference yet, but in the next few weeks, I feel like maybe I could wear a couple of things that have been hanging out in my closet for nearly 2 years.

Another change we've made over here in the last several weeks is that we're eating "clean". I found a blog called 100 Days of Real Food, and I've become pretty excited about it. I can't say we've completely jumped in, but I can count on one hand the times I've had something out of a bag, box, or can (besides tomatoes and beans) in the last month. That's less than 5 times or way less if you have fewer fingers! But I have 5.
I didn't think I could do it. But it's sort of come easy!

After talking with our friends in Italy, we realized one of the major differences with food here vs there, is that everything here is so convenient, but so over processed. It's not how many calories or even the portion (well, obviously some portions are too large) size, but it's what's in our food that can be so disgusting. I really do not want to eat things that I cannot pronounce. And I'm really good at sounding out new words. I want to eat real food and I want to live a long and healthy life.

I'll save my spiel for my actual food blog...whenever she's ready. But I just wanted to share that it works! And we've eaten better and more delicious food than we have in months!

Anyone else make the committment to eating clean, or what steps have you taken in the right direction?

Laundry Commercials

For as long as I can remember, commercials for laundry detergent featured frustrated moms whose life's purpose was to make their family's clothing bright, crisp, and clean. She would lose sleep over her son's stained orange cummerbund, or blow her wispy bangs up with exasperation over her husbands "ring around the collar." What will she ever do?!

Even in the past few years, they deliver pertty similar messages. How will she get those stains out?!
My husband and I tend to do our laundry separately, just because it's always been that way. But if there's ever a question about stain removal, it usually ends up being my job. It's sort of weird how these roles are assumed. But it wasn't until after Charlotte arrived that I actually became that frustrated mom wanting to keep those little baby clothes from looking all faded and stained. Seriously? I never thought it would happen.

But that's not really the point! The point is that there is finally a commercial starring a "stay at home dad" by Tide. High five for P&G for changing up the gender roles for a minute. It's a cute commercial, really.

I love how he holds up a little girl dress and calls it a "thing". And in true man-form, references "problem solving" because that's how men approach everything.

That's all for my random thoughts of the day.

Go Ahead, Laugh At Me

But you might feel bad about it.

Today was one of the crappiest days I had in a while...as far as everything-going-wrong type of days go. I mean, when I think about it, I realize it's not bad. At all. But in the midst of trying to not go bat-shit crazy, it's hard to have perspective.

Let's start at the beginning. Time change. That effer can really screw with you. My facebook friends will already know that I took to the interwebs to voice my frustration, but that was really only the beginning.
I had to leave my house by 7am this morning, earlier, if I wanted to be on time for once. Well, at 6:45, my Charlotte-alarm was squealing and I leaped out of bed in a panic, wondering how much dry shampoo it would take to make my hair look like it had been wet-shampooed. I make a bottle and bring Charlotte to our bed and hope that Marcus can stay in bed with her for a few more minutes while I shower. (I decided I didn't want to waste an entire can of dry shampoo.) After I emerged from the bathroom, Marcus groggily asks me why I have to be to work so early...? Meanwhile it's actually FIVE FIFTY FIVE. AND MY DAUGHTER IS UP FOR (WHAT SHE THINKS) THE DAY. Ho, no. I got lucky and she went back to sleep.  Score for me.
I was able to get ready without too much annoyance, save finding a dirty thermos that had a little puddle of old coffee in it when all I needed was a clean thermos...
I load Charlotte up and head to my mom's to drop her off for the day. It's about a 20 minute drive, and then back another 20 minutes to work. Marcus had loaded up an old crappy air compressor in the back of my van since he just sold his Explorer and replaced it with a tiny impractical car. (I suppose that's an entirely different story.) He told me to go easy on my brakes and watch it on the curves because the air compressor may not stay upright. By the time I made it to the edge of our neighborhood, the stupid piece of crap went crashing over, terrifying me and my daughter and leaking oil in my sweet mom-ride.
So I move over to the side of the road and I try to lift it back up. I am wearing a skirt, tights and a dress coat. I'm crawling into the back of my van and surveying the oil spill dressed like a congress woman. (or a flight attendant, or librarian, as I'm often mistaken for. oh, and preschool teacher.) I attempt to lift the big dirty beast and it won't budge. I call Marcus and am very rude. I call my mom to see if she can meet me a little closer to the highway to save some time.
After I made it to the the highway exit, I transferred my kiddo into my mom's car and asked if she could maybe help me. I was able to lift up the compressor and adjust some newspaper to soak up some of the oil, but I can tell it's not going to stay in this position for long. There were some bungees and tow straps "holding it in place" but they may as well have been birthday party streamers as they were draped gracefully throughout the back of my van.
I said my goodbyes to Charlotte and my mom took the diaper bag and asked, "Where is her bottle?"
My spirit crumbled. How could I have forgotten?! My mom offered to pick one up at a near by store, knowing they don't have "her kind", but anything would do, right?!
I left for work, called my boss and said I needed to drop the oil monster to my husband's work because I wasn't going to leave it in my car all day. Within moments, it crashed onto it's side once again, even louder than before. I tried to adjust again after pulling into a gas station, but cannot get it to budge. Really missing the ol' personal trainer right about now. (I just asked Marcus, the compressor weighs 100 lbs. That explains my inability to lift it.)
I was 45 minutes late to work with an oil slick in my car, dirty hands, and a headache. It wasn't long after that my mom notified me that Charlotte refused to take the new bottle and protested loudly about it. It was going to be a long-ass day.
I honestly tried so hard during my 40 extra minutes of driving to be thankful amidst what I felt least thankful for. You know, taking a hint from all of the people doing 30 days of thanks on facebook or their blogs. I felt guilty for not praying the moment that I felt anger creeping in. Anger at Marcus for making me cart around what I felt to be a dangerous greasy time bomb, anger at myself for not being more responsible for setting my alarm properly, for remembering a bottle, and then forgetting a co-workers birthday card even though I just stopped at the store. I felt sorry for myself because on top of that, I felt like a pathetic wife and mother. Seriously, why couldn't I just get it together? I've been working harder at praying before I let things get out of hand. It doesn't always come naturally, and sometimes it doesn't feel like it's working.
I wanted people to coddle me and tell me that yes, my morning did suck, but then tell me how awesome I was and how clean my hair looked. But no one would. I can't rely on other people to make me feel better about myself.
I need to work harder on talking with God during those long car rides instead of fuming and getting more angry. It gets me nowhere.
So, I've determined something to be thankful for throughout my craptastic morning. I'm thankful that these days are (relatively) few and far between, and I'm thankful that even though I felt like I had worked a full day even before arriving at my job, I had a reminder that I need to spend more time in prayer. That in itself is probably worth it...and maybe, just maybe there will be even fewer craptastic days because of it.

side note: Charlotte refused her bottle all day, just as she had my first week back to work. But Marcus was able to pick her up a bit early. And that made me happy.

Dressing a Little Girl

On my days home with Charlotte, I've started to notice a fascinating phenomenon.
When I get her dressed in the morning, it's usually sort of fun. We have a few combos to choose from!
Do you want to wear your owl leggings with your ruffle shirt, or with your striped sweater? Or do you want to wear your owl t shirt with your striped leggings? Let's put a denim skirt over your leggings. And a vest.
Oh look! Matching socks...and this headband matches too!
10:30am: Hey, where did that headband go?
11:45: Let's take that skirt off. You don't need it and you can barely crawl when you're wearing it.
12:30: You're all sweaty! No need for this hooded vest, besides I can barely fit you in the carseat with all that extra bulk.
After her afternoon nap: Where did your other sock go? Here it is. Why is it all wet? And why do you have lint in your mouth?
So at this point, she's down to leggings, shirt and one dry sock.
3:30: Let's change your diaper! Oh boy. We're going to have to put these pants in the laundry.
By 5:30 when Marcus gets home from work, we're lucky if she has a shirt on. Seriously.

I'm nowhere close to learning a lesson here. Because I will be dressing her in layers tomorrow too. If we didn't, who knows what she'd be wearing by the end of the day.