Pregnancy lately has turned me into an anxiety ridden mama monster.
Well, at least I'm blaming it on pregnancy, since I wasn't a super nervous mom before.
We have several sets of stairs in our "mutli-level" home. Charlotte learned to use them early, and quite well. I just recently started to nervous about this because she's attempting to step up and down, rather than climb and crawl. When I go upstairs to let Darby out of her crate, Charlotte will follow me and Darby races out of her crate toward the stairs. Oh geesh. I have a toddler standing on the top stair excited to see her pup, and Darby just about knocks her over backwards. Terror ensues.
We visit in my in-law's pool and they have a "multi-level" deck. I don't know how familiar or comfortable she is around them since I'm not there when my mother in law is watching her. All I know is that she's clueless around the pool and toddles around at full speed and I.can.barely.stand.it. I cannot relax on a warm sunny day if my kid is awake.
Yesterday we went out to the family cottage for the first time of the season. Last year it was fun. I could stick her in her bumbo and take pictures of her. I could lay her under her play gym and she'd kick and squeal and not tumble down the stairs. Well, wouldn't you know it, the cottage has TWO decks with a few sets of stairs! Why are there always hard wooden stairs everywhere?! Then of course there's Darby who wants to run around to her heart's content, but I have visions of doom and freak accidents and I cannot contain both my crazy dog and my curious child. If it weren't for nap time, I would have no time to recharge and regain what's left of my sanity.
I assume that I'm not alone in the mom-related anxiety battle. I'm just frustrated that I was always fine before! I was fairly laid back (yet seemingly responsible) and the thought of having another child (and I thought for a while that I maybe wanted a bunch of kids!) makes me completely overwhelmed when I think about the possibility of never relaxing again.
When we're home, I am mostly at ease, because I know what Charlotte is capable of. I just feel sick to my stomach and cannot chill if we're in a new place these days!
Do you ever feel the same way? How do you learn to chill again?