Thursday, June 2, 2011

I'm Just Right Of Crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

Soo in case you didn't know, I'm just a little crunchy.  
For starters, I went to school for massage therapy. This was in 2001, before it was advertised on daytime television non stop and the girls who didn't want to do hair just did massage. (I'm not knocking either of these career choices, just let me get to my point.) Basically, a majority of people who choose to practice massage therapy are smelly hippies. I'm allowed to say this because I did it for nearly 7 years. However, I wouldn't classify myself as a dirty hippie. With that being said, this is probably when my interest in eco friendly and all natural health, beauty, and cleaning products came into play.
Okay, so that's where I got sucked into the granola vortex.
I refused to use products containing mineral oil and avoided using shampoo with sodium lauryl sulfate. Why? I don't remember. Who cares. But it makes me better than you.
I would go on a random kick of health food that lasted like 2 weeks, until I could eat no more edamame succotash and fruit smoothies made with almond milk and flax.
So when I found out I was expecting the Little Monster (who we later named Charlotte), I promised I was going to be super conscious of my eating habits and the products I used. That lasted about 3 days, when the pukes and never ending nausea decided to park it and stay for 20 weeks.
Goodbye fresh field greens with a splash of oil and vinegar.
Hello Spaghettios with franks.
Hey there, entire box of macaroni and cheese, where is your buddy, Bacon?
Mmmmm french fries of all varieties. I never did discriminate.
Yeah, that's right. I was a giant hog.
But now that Charlotte is here, I'm all crunchy hippie again. She has a tiny human footprint, yet I keep trying to reduce her carbon footprint. I use a ridiculously good smelling shea butter moisturizer (that I found on the cheap)! I've been using cloth diapers while I'm at home, and on short trips out (I haven't completely converted).  And this weekend I made our first batch of baby food! And to be frank (without the spaghettios this time), it was delightful!
Sweet potatoes from where else? The local farmers market, bitchaz!

So there it is, all pureed and ready to be frozen in it's little BPA free containers. I only had to move a box of hot pockets, a frozen pizza and Ore Ida french fries out of the way. I told you I don't discriminate.

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