I made it through my week back to work. I won't lie, it wasn't easy.
I've been counting my blessings this morning though, because it can get too easy counting....non blessings? What is the opposite of blessing?
First, here is what's been buggin me.
Getting myself and Charlotte ready on time. Trying to time her morning feeding to be right before I leave for work.
Knowing that she is refusing a bottle, or is screaming until she finally surrenders.
Not having a work space at the office.
Learning that once I get a work space, I will have nothing to put in it, as someone (unknowingly) threw away a box of mine containing 2 years worth of printed references and guidelines.
Having like 3 things to wear.
Ok. deep breath. It's not so bad.
Here are the great things.
At least I have a job! There are people searching, and I don't need to do that.
It's only part time, I'll still get to hang out with my baby. We'll be patient until she takes a bottle again.
Charlotte has two grandmas that love her and look forward to taking care of her (free of charge! bonus!)
Vacation in (omg!) 2 weeks!! (omg!!!!) (You think I can lose 5+ lbs in 2 weeks?)
Charlotte is usually quite cuddly when we do have time together, and last night? She went 9 HOURS between feedings. that's 8 hours of sleep! for her, and me. Yes, I got 8 hours of sleep for the first time in 3 months.
I had an absolute meltdown on Thursday. I cried for probably 75% of the day. I was smart and brought my makeup to work, knowing that I had a rough night before...and I reapplied it at least 5 times. Like my whole face, not just eyes. The good news is that I think my tears healed my sty. I don't really know what got into me, because in this moment, I am feeling sort of better. C's pediatrician (or rather, the nurse at the office) reassured me that she will be okay not eating during the day, but just be prepared to feed her a lot at night. And although I had read that, I wanted to hear "Oh my. This has never happened before. You should probably stay home to be with her for at least 2 years."
Oh, and she either learned to fake cough, or she has a cough. I'm crossing my fingers for my little drama queen, and hoping that she's rehearsing for a new role. But judging by the congestion and phlegmy sound...she might have a little something. I choose not to worry at this point.
Okay. Back to "spring cleaning." Today, spring cleaning means doing some laundry and we'll be lucky if anything else gets done.