The Time I Had Another Baby

Hi!
Guess what? I had another baby!
I'm guessing most of you know this already because of real life, or facebook life.

The last time I sat down to blog was last Thursday. I was basically whining about how I was still pregnant, even though I still had 13 days to go.

Since I am sort of tired, I'll just keep it short.

Eleanor Ruth arrived on Saturday, September 15 at 6:52am. We call her Lena, and she's the bomb!
She was 11 days early (same as Charlotte) and 8 lbs 1oz, 20 in long! I grow em big!
I should also mention it was a successful VBAC. That, my friends, is the way to go. There was about 2 hours where I majorly regretted not scheduling a c-section because of the craziest amount of pain I've ever experienced in my life during labor, but I persevered and am SO glad I did.

The nicest little baby ever.

I'll be sure to update soon with the story and about life in general.

Just wanted to share the exciting news!

Homestretch

Is there an official week in pregnancy where you can say you're in the homestretch? I think most people would say that it's at 37 weeks when you're considered full term.
I say it's whenever the crap I feel like it is. In which case, it's now. 33 weeks.

Knowing that I delivered Charlotte a little early, at 38 weeks, it makes me feel like it really is just a matter of weeks, not months, that this baby could arrive.

It's so much different the second time around. I was so, so ready just to have Charlotte. I wanted to meet her, hold her, start our new life with her. This time, I am not rushing it. I know how crazy life can be with a newborn. Holy moly, I will need to get used to not sleeping anymore. I wonder if I'll completely lose my cool or if I'll handle it with grace. Charlotte has been a tad difficult the last couple of weeks, throwing hard objects at me, having tantrums, and taking short naps, and I hope she snaps out of it.

I'm at the point where people assume I'm a lot more pregnant than I am because they forget how giant you actually get at the end. Or, they have no idea how giant I actually get at the end.
I can no longer stand on one foot which means putting on pants is quite a shit show. It involves a lot of leaning, sitting, and breath holding, accompanied by nausea. My mail delivery lady stopped me this week while I was walking with Charlotte and Darby to ask excitedly "Are you in labor?" I laughed and told her that I've got a ways to go, sister. (so please don't ask that again for a long time.)

I got a massage today, and though the massage therapist knew how far along I am, she saw me and said "oh wow. You're way more pregnant than I thought you were." I am not nearly as easily offended as I was with my first pregnancy. I have a better sense of humor , and a better understanding of the things to come.
I do admit that it's been much easier this time around, and I'm sure part of it is due to the understanding of what's going on. But also, I'm not working, I'm far less stressed, and overall I just feel a little better. But that's all fading quickly with the ever present braxton hicks, pelvic girdle pain, and the legitimate medical condition known as lightning crotch. Or, crotch zingers as they are sometimes called. Google it. I dare you.

Right now, my family is rolling their eyes thinking that I share way too much, but come on. If you don't have a friend who will tell you about crotch zingers, you don't have any real friends. That's what I'm here for.

We still have a lot of work to do before the baby comes. The nursery needs to be finished (basically, cleaned out), but we have to wait until the basement is completed to move the rest of the crap down there. Hopefully the basement will be done in a couple of weeks. A lot of various steps have been started, it's just a matter of completing them. I won't be doing that.

I've taken a couple of days to stock the freezer with some pre-prepped meals to hopefully make life a little easier in the upcoming months. What I haven't done yet is moved the oven to clean behind it in a nesting frenzy. We'll see if that strikes me anytime soon.

That's basically the update for now. I don't have any pictures because I only take pictures of my dog and my kid doing the same things as they did in the last picture I took.


peace out my homies.

Running Out Of Steam

I'm just about 28 weeks pregnant now, and I am feeling it. I'm not so light on my feet. I'm clumsy (the random bruises are proof). I'm waddling. I'm hormonal.
I'm pretty confident I won't be collecting any mother of the year awards anytime soon. I've never done this before and we're basically just getting by.
It's just been so hot lately and I've been exhausted. I don't know how to entertain an 18 month old. Charlotte doesn't need that much actual entertaining, but part of the reason I left my job when I did was so I could enjoy the summer being a mom of one. I need ideas for activities with her.
She's successfully transitioned to one nap in the last week, so that frees up more time in the morning. What do you do to stay sane in the heat with a toddler?

And because I don't have much more to say at the moment, here's a video I took today. I find it funny.

Sidenote - I think she's ready for her first haircut.

I think I'm possessed.

This evening, I am having intense back pain. We had a busy day (or busy 4 days) and I've learned that after a particularly busy day, I experience crazy back pain. It's like the lowest part of my tail bone. I can barely stand, can't bend my knees, cannot take a step forward, can't really do anything unless I'm in a loungy position.
Marcus evidently was getting sick of my antics and song and dance when it came down to getting into a standing position. He was trying to tell me how to do it and what I was doing wrong, but clearly he is not an expert in fetus carrying related back pain.
I was trying to stand up to get myself a bowl of cereal. But the drama was too much for him, so he got up and fetched me a bowl. I was so thankful. When I went to sit, my back gave out and I sort of collapsed (in super graceful form) onto the couch. And he yelled at me. Said I looked like I just got hit with a hand grenade. I can't even type that without laughing out loud. I started laughing as he said it, but because my back hurt so bad, it turned into tears. I was confused by this reaction. I was taking too long to get to my cereal in my husband's opinion. He was telling me it was going to get soggy! I started to get upset! Tears and laughter were getting stuck in my throat. As I scooped a spoonful of Kellogg's Krave bomb ass cereal into my pie hole, it occurred to me that it was a "big" spoon. Not a regular size spoon that I prefer. I was trying to keep it together, but I sort of snorted and all the cereal milk came spurting out of my mouth as I started sobbing. Sobbing. Because the spoon was too big. I wanted to laugh because I knew I was being ridiculous. But then more than that, I wanted to cry because I simply couldn't hold it together. So here I sit. I have mascara smudged all over my cheeks. Marcus wants nothing to do with me or my demons.
It's all a blur at this point. I think the episode lasted at least 5 minutes. And when you think about that, that's a long time of simply not having any grasp on your emotions.

But every time I think of that hand grenade reference, I start half laugh/half crying again. I better go to bed.

Have you ever had any completely inexplicable pregnancy meltdowns?

Can you top mine?

I Sleep A Lot

Some people associate sleeping with laziness. I, however, associate it with awesomeness.
You may think I'm wasting precious getting stuff done hours by napping, but what I'm really doing is becoming so much smarter than you.
Ok. I'll try to keep the snark to a minimum, but really, I do require a lot of sleep. Most people say 8 hours is plenty, others only need 6. I need 9 hours of sleep. I can sometimes sleep 10, but that's only if Charlotte lets me sleep in until 8 and if I made it to bed by 10 pm. I frequently nap during the day. Not frequently in one day, but many times throughout the week. Yeah, I'm pregnant, but I think I would try to sneak in a cat nap even if I weren't.
Here's the issue. Pregnancy, though it makes me sleepy, doesn't allow me to sleep at night. I've had this nagging anxiety the past few months which causes my mind to race, especially at night. Add a crazy post-surgery hound to the mix, I won't sleep at all.
Last night for some reason, we had a smoke detector beep sporadically 3 times. Just one loud beep! over the course of an hour. It didn't really bother me, but for some reason, Darby went apeshit. Dude, it's just a beep. She wanted to hide in the bathroom, so when we put her in the bathroom, she'd want to come in our room. If she's in our room, she can be trusted, but if she's on her own, she'll lick her stitches. So then we'd have to put her cone around her head.
This monkey business continued from 11-1. The last I looked at the clock, it was 1:30 and I was ticked!
The thing is, this is how Darby will be ALL day, and then at night, she's up and at 'em.

I ended up giving her a valium and we slept until 6:30. 

This turned into being about the dog, when really it was supposed to be about my sleep habits. Since both are so extremely interesting it doesn't matter which direction it goes in because I know you're enthralled. 

I may as well throw a little Charlotte in here, too! 

She's not saying a ton of words specifically, but I sort of know what she's saying. She was good at using words for a little while, but now she's resorted to using "d" as her main consonant of choice. 

Me: Say please!

C: Daaaaah!

Me: Ok, now say thank you!

C: Dinkoo!

Me: Where's your blankie?

C: Deedeeee

Diaper=Dyder

Mama=Dada

Dada=Dada

Darby=Goggie

Milk=Meowl

What cat's say= Meow

Bubbles=Bubbahs

Yes=No

No= No, but with fury.

Drinking her meowl

I went on a little shopping trip this week and when I think about what I purchased for the girls, I realize it was almost exclusively pajamas and this:

She better oblige! 

Sorry this kind of went all over the place. You can tell I'm tired.

How much sleep do you require? Am I abnormal when it comes to demanding so much sleep?

Beware of the Mama Monster

Pregnancy lately has turned me into an anxiety ridden mama monster.
Well, at least I'm blaming it on pregnancy, since I wasn't a super nervous mom before.

We have several sets of stairs in our "mutli-level" home. Charlotte learned to use them early, and quite well. I just recently started to nervous about this because she's attempting to step up and down, rather than climb and crawl. When I go upstairs to let Darby out of her crate, Charlotte will follow me and Darby races out of her crate toward the stairs. Oh geesh. I have a toddler standing on the top stair excited to see her pup, and Darby just about knocks her over backwards. Terror ensues.

We visit in my in-law's pool and they have a "multi-level" deck. I don't know how familiar or comfortable she is around them since I'm not there when my mother in law is watching her. All I know is that she's clueless around the pool and toddles around at full speed and I.can.barely.stand.it. I cannot relax on a warm sunny day if my kid is awake.

Yesterday we went out to the family cottage for the first time of the season. Last year it was fun. I could stick her in her bumbo and take pictures of her. I could lay her under her play gym and she'd kick and squeal and not tumble down the stairs. Well, wouldn't you know it, the cottage has TWO decks with a few sets of stairs! Why are there always hard wooden stairs everywhere?! Then of course there's Darby who wants to run around to her heart's content, but I have visions of doom and freak accidents and I cannot contain both my crazy dog and my curious child. If it weren't for nap time, I would have no time to recharge and regain what's left of my sanity.

I assume that I'm not alone in the mom-related anxiety battle. I'm just frustrated that I was always fine before! I was fairly laid back (yet seemingly responsible) and the thought of having another child (and I thought for a while that I maybe wanted a bunch of kids!) makes me completely overwhelmed when I think about the possibility of never relaxing again.

When we're home, I am mostly at ease, because I know what Charlotte is capable of. I just feel sick to my stomach and cannot chill if we're in a new place these days!

Do you ever feel the same way? How do you learn to chill again?

I Love Self Diagnosis

I am not a hypochondriac. I am, however, very self aware. I think this is a good thing when it comes to being healthy and taking care of one's self. When I did massage therapy, I was constantly shocked at how people would come in and say "no major problems" and then I'd find some crazy bulge or bump and advise them to get it checked out. How does one not notice a giant blobby bulge on their side? (That person came back to thank me as it turned out to be something quite serious.)

Since sometimes my doctor is less than helpful (see here), I end up doing my own research and hoping I don't drive the doctor crazy when I have a suggestion as to what I might have going on. 

This weekend I did a lot of research. We traveled up to my in-law's condo in northern Michigan to take advantage of the (predicted) great weather and the long weekend. It started off great, but on Thursday evening I noticed kind of a weird ache in my side. It felt like I had just went jogging (ha!) and I had a side ache. I even mentioned it because I was quite uncomfortable to sit down. I of course ignored it because it really wasn't a big deal and odd things happen - especially when you're pregnant. The next morning after breakfast I noticed that my ribs and shoulder were really achy. I had assumed it was just from sleeping in a different bed, carrying around a toddler, growing in pregnancy, etc etc....

I looked into visiting a chiropractor in the area but I thought it might be tough to manage a new patient visit around a toddler schedule and wasn't convinced it would really do the trick for muscle pain. It continued to get worse anytime I sat down and it became painful to take deep breaths. I don't normally take drugs but I figured it'd be the only thing that really helped in this case since my husband is not a master of therapeutic massage. I called my OB and told them that I had muscle pain, my baby is doing great, and could they prescribe me something to ease the pain so I could carry on with my weekend. 

Unsurprisingly, they offered little to no help and even asked the "are you bleeding?" question that they love to ask. I wanted to give a smart ass response about how yes, I actually delivered my baby, but now my shoulder hurts real bad...can I get some flexoril? They advised me to go to the nearest emergency room because they should rule out a blood clot in my lungs. I explained that it was not difficult to breathe, it just hurt my ribs when I did. So my choices were tylenol or the ER. I know people do this all of the time, but I knew better. I wasn't going to go for this. That is just dumb. 

I carried on through the day doing just fine and we went to a nice dinner in the evening and just a few bites in to my loaded mac n cheese I started to have intense pain in my side and shoulder. I called my brother who is a physician assistant to see what he recommended. I didn't want to go to the ER but knew I needed some relief. He encouraged me to go just to rule out a pulmonary embolism (which of course I knew it was not!) and hopefully get some pain relief that is okay for pregnancy. So we left my delicious food and our family to go to the emergency room. Ack.

I told them my OB told me to come in to rule out a blood clot. And that's it. No further tests. I don't want to be here all night. I have a little girl I'd like to get home to. Since I obviously will not have a blood clot, can I also get a pain reliever that actually works? 

They poked and prodded me and made us wait. I was in so much pain I could barely sit in the hospital bed without them making some major adjustments for me. My baby was looking good and they weren't concerned about my pregnancy. After a few hours they were able to rule out an embolism and they gave me morphine (but one Aleve in the morning was about the end of the world when I called my dr.) for my pain. The morphine helped about 70% but I could still feel the pain when I breathed deeply. They sent me home with some pain pills as well, but I would only take them as a last resort.

I was happy to find out that nothing serious was going on but bummed out that I still had pain after morphine. The next morning I was still very sore and didn't feel well, so I took a prescribed pill. It didn't do a thing. Are you stinkin' kidding me?!

I started to regret not asking for further tests after doing some internet research. I noticed the pain was the worst after eating. I felt so stupid with some of my google searches because I had no idea that the two things could be related. "Shoulder and side hurt while eating" - it makes it sound like I'm shoveling food into my face hole so fast that my body is getting sore. But I actually started to get some answers. At least I knew I wasn't crazy. I do have my routine OB appointment tomorrow so hopefully we can discuss what might be going on and maybe even have another ultrasound to check out a few vital (or non-vital) organs that may be the cause of all this ruckus.

I decided to really watch my diet the last couple of days since I noticed that the pain increased with eating. I ate very little and very bland food. I still had plenty of pain but it didn't last as long. I basically have gone two days eating very little and am feeling much better, but could really use a cheese steak hoagie about now. I'm thinking that's not a great idea.
If I can't eat good food in addition to no longer imbibing libations I may 1) not be as enormously fat as I had predicted and 2) be quite unhappy.
Hopefully I can get some answers soon and start feeling better!

Now that I've bored you with my medical history, it's time to move on with my day.
If you need any help with diagnosing yourself with interesting medical conditions, let me know. I'm happy to google it for you.

Interpret This.

I've always been a big dreamer. Not like a goals and aspirations dreamer, but like a "oh crap I'm driving my car onto a roller coster!!" dreamer.
When I was pregnant with Charlotte I thought I would have the craziest dreams just knowing what's normal for me, but as it turned out, I barely had any that I remembered. I never once dreamt about a baby or being pregnant.
However, this time around, I've been having nutso dreams. Big, detailed dreams that I remember specifics of when I wake up. Dreams that stick with me for days. Some are funny, some are, er...hot..., some are just odd.
It's no surprise that I dreamed what I did this week, considering my job status change, but it was weird, nevertheless.
In my dream, I started a job at Arby's. (I worked there in real life when I was 16 for a summer.)
I wasn't embarrassed about it or anything, especially since they had amazing incentives. Hello Beef and Cheddars! What! There were all these tests one would have to pass to work there, and I was passing with flying colors. I was going to be the best employee Arby's had ever seen! I loved everything about it, except for those teens I had to work with. They didn't give a shit about food quality and were terrible at presentation! I was all "Would YOU eat this??" and they were all "You're old. why do you work here?"

Then. THEN! My dream last night really stuck with me. It occurred after 6am this morning and I think that's why it haunted me all day. I dreamt that I had the new baby and after a few weeks, I forgot her name. I simply could not remember what I named my second born daughter. We were on some family outing and when I was really stressed about it, NO ONE would tell me what I named her. Apparently it was a super awful name, and they all felt that if they kept it from me, I would give her a new name. I thought there was no way I would have given her a terrible name, and that everyone must be mistaken. I asked everyone I knew, and I even went back to previous blog posts certain that I must have mentioned her name somewhere. I only referred to her as "i". A lowercase italics "I" was the name I used on my blog. So I racked my brain trying to think of what names that start with "I" that I would have named her. I came up with nothing! Marcus finally told me the name I chose. He explained that I chose it while I was very loopy from the drugs at the hospital.
The name was "Hiya."
I was humiliated! Why would I choose that name? I couldn't believe that no one told me it wasn't a good idea. I don't know why I forgot it in the first place.
When I finally woke up, I grabbed my belly and literally breathed a sigh of relief. There is still a little hope left for this unborn child.
WTF, self?

I need to do less baby name finding online and more watching Justin Bieber singing Carly Rae Jepson's song before bed because then I have awesome dreams about becoming besties with Justin and Selena.

Feel free to interpret this for me.


oh...and sweet dreams!!

Paging Dr. Internet

I've determined that I no longer need a doctor for my prenatal care. If there's any concern I might have, I will consult the internet. The internet is not condescending. (Well, Yahoo answers is, but I avoid taking advice from trolls.) The internet doesn't make me stand on a scale and make me do math in my head. The internet is filled with friends just waiting to give out personal advice, while my doctor only gives me statistics.

Unless my baby is coming out right.this.minute, my doctor is not concerned about me or my pregnancy. Debilitating pelvic pain? Stretch.
I tell him I don't know how to stretch my bones. He says it's the only thing that will help.
Can I wear carry my 16 month old in a back carrier at 20 weeks pregnant? He says "if you want."
C-section incision pain? He responds with kneading my uterus like a ball of dough.
The internet has not done any of that. In fact, the internet has only made me forget about those problems by making me laugh!

Eucalyptus oil has not been proven to be safe for use during pregnancy.
I learned that from the internet. Not my doctor.

 

Way funnier than a pamphlet on menopause (the only reading material while I wait for my doctor)

My next dog shall be named Sting. (I'm not sure how to relate this to my OB)

I don't know how to break the news to my doctor, but my guess is that he won't notice that I don't show up for the next 4-5 months. But the internet beckons me daily. Seemingly telling me, "come back! there's more hilarity to come!" and "Babysteals is the bomb!" And it is. Babysteals is the bomb.
Sure, Pinterest can't deliver my baby. But I bet I could find a blog post pinned on Pinterest that tells me how to deliver my own baby. In your face, DOCTOR.
psshht.

Pregnancy Cravings - Fact or Myth?

I could make myself believe that cravings during pregnancy are just an excuse for women to be all crazy bananas and make their husbands go on a quest until they find that perfect treat to satisfy the craving.

I mean, I crave things when I'm not pregnant, as I'm sure most people do. But it's kind of easy to get over. Let's say you really want a greasy cheeseburger from Culver's (holy crap, Culver's is so good. I feel so bad for anyone who has never had it.) But then you talk yourself out of it. You know it's not that good for you, so you make yourself order a small salad. And you survive. You are full, you feel good about yourself, and you pat yourself on the back for resisting the urge.

But with pregnancy, or at least in my case, I will attempt to talk myself out of eating junky food. I prepare vegetables or order salads. And I proceed to gag and stifle the vomit. I don't really have much in the way of morning sickness, but good golly, as soon as I eat a vegetable, it's gag city, chick.
So back to the whole cravings "myth" - I want lemonade ALL THE TIME. It has to be the real kind. Preferably made with cane sugar and no high fructose corn syrup. If it's strawberry lemonade (with real strawberries) omg, even better. And here's the thing: I don't like lemonade. I like a good Arnold Palmer on occassion, and maybe a lemonade cocktail...but I never ever ever want lemonade. I normally try to avoid drinking my calories, and the urge to consume barrels of lemonade makes that difficult. I've tried just doing the water with lots of lemon thing, but that's b.s. Worst idea I've ever had. Oh, and sugar substitutes just will not work. I try to avoid them anyway, and that's going to really screw up my dreamy, tart, lemonade.
Must be real lemonade. My mouth waters. And I never even liked the stuff to begin with. SO weird.

I haven't noticed too many other cravings besides things like fruit, which I'll take! And today strawberry pie sounded like the bomb and I don't like pie.

Did you have any cravings that you knew were different from just wanting something you always want anyway? And better yet, pica? I'd love to hear a story about how you crave non-food. Fascinating...

And also if you have a recipe for some bomb ass lemonade, please share it with me, before I go broke on my mission to find my favorite.

A Word About Las Vegas

About 6 weeks ago I crammed a carry on with mini dresses covered in sequins, sky high pumps, and false eyelashes. We had our trip planned for weeks and we were so looking forward to getting away! We would take a break from our parental duties, stay up late, win some money, indulge in cocktails-a-plenty.
A good time always awaits us in Las Vegas.
The day before our trip I thought...hm...pretty sure I was supposed to have a *certain* visitor by now. But the last few months it's been quite screwy, so I really wasn't all that concerned. (I'm talking about my period, dummies.) So, just for some peace of mind, I thought I should probably take a pregnancy test before we left on our trip. I knew it would be negative, but I knew I wouldn't enjoy my trip to the fullest if there was any doubt. Even though my purse never has a pen, and my diaper bag never has wipes, I seem to always have a pregnancy test on hand.

And wouldn't you know it. It was positive.
Or a big fat positive as they say in the baby making biz.

While thinking in terms of the long term future, I was absolutely thrilled! But it's my short-term response that made me feel guilty. I think it went something like this: Holy SH*T. (I had a toddler sleeping, I didn't want her to hear me swear.) We were getting on a plane in just over 24 hours with our siblings who really know how to have a good time. I didn't want to ruin their fun!

And while I've had day dreams about the adorable way I would tell my husband our wonderful news of expanding our family, maybe "Juno" style where I arrange a big chair in the front yard and chew on a pipe before I tell him the news. Or maybe like Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse from Full House where Becky makes Jesse baby carrots, babyback ribs, and baby got back. Wait...that's not right.
The only thing I could manage to do was call him. It wasn't cute, it wasn't well executed, it was what it was.

"I'm pregnant."
It was awkward and abrupt.

It hadn't set in yet and we didn't know what to think. Adding more children to our family has always been our plan, it just happened sooner, and easier, that we would have ever planned.

But now that the dust has settled (and honestly, it settled about 30 minutes after I found out), it feels really good. I am happy, feel oddly at peace considering the chaos that is about to ensue in a few short months, and simply exhausted. And I love it.

Here we go!!!!