Preschool Begins!

Today Charlotte had her very first day of school!
I woke her up before her cow started dancing ( This is what I'm referring to ), and she would not drop the subject until after she had eaten breakfast. That clock, by the way, has been a real helper in getting her to stay in bed longer in the morning and taking a nice rest in the afternoon. We had been struggling for a couple of weeks with tantrums, and since she's better rested, she's much happier.

I woke her up with plenty of time to spare because it seems like when I head to the gym at 9:30am (school begins at 8:15)  it's basically a shit show for an hour and a half getting those kids ready. Well, I gave her too much time because she was able to ask "is it time to go to school yet?!" one million times before I even woke Lena up.

This is what we call her "school smile" where she tries to look at the camera and stand still at the same time. It's very challenging for her.

And one with her umbrella because it was POURING all morning.

On Tuesday we had a visiting day to get a feel for what the day would be like and I was given instructions to bring 1/4 cup of goldfish crackers to contribute to  a special "friendship mix" with her classmates on their first day. I knew I had some goldfish crackers at home but when I went to portion some out, they were staler than styrofoam packing peanuts. So...I just didn't send anything. I felt okay with that choice because....how would they notice that something was missing? I saw a bunch of baggies with goldfish and pretzels and raisins on the counter when I dropped her off, no one would know that my kid didn't bring one in.

1) It's the first day of school. How am I already doing this??

2) I didn't feel too bad about it until I was recounting the story with my husband and realized...what if each kid poured in their own little baggie into the friendship mix and Charlotte just sat there. Chin cradled in her hands, just watching her classmates enjoy mixing a big snack to share.
3) I should have just packed the stale ones. No one would know they for sure came from my house. I mean, if they ever got to know me, they'd probably be able to piece together that puzzle, but whatever, right?

Anyway.

Charlotte did so great at drop off. 

She's always happiest not looking at the camera

I think her teacher is a special woman. Charlotte doesn't too freely hug someone she doesn't really know. (thankfully?)

ok mom. go now.

This is before she learned she doesn't get to stay

Lena helped herself to a spot at the table with all the confidence in the world. She waved and said hello to everyone and when I said it was time to go, she looked at Charlotte, looked at me, and was like "come on Charlotte. Let's go." (in so many words.) 

I headed home with Lena and realized that 2 hours feels like 15 minutes when you're at home doing basically nothing. So I need to plan out those mornings a little better and get something done like get groceries when I only have to take one kid. This is a learning experience for me. 

So that's that. My first born's first day of school in the books. Or on the blog. I don't do books.

Please tell me a story where you had a basic mom fail. Make me feel better.

Fall Fun

The weather here has been so nice the past few weeks! They say it's "unseasonably" warm, but the last several years it's stayed warm into October. The polar bears love it.

We've been trying to take advantage of the warm weather and smaller crowds now that everyone's kids are in school, so our schedule has been jam packed.

I'm trying to just accept the fact that I have an uber cranky baby and just move forward with my life, but each day poses as an opportunity for Lena to spaz for no reason. I've found that taking her out and getting into the nice weather is usually the solution to this problem. I've also learned that if things are going well, I just need to let sleeping dogs lie and not call attention to myself by taking pictures of her or letting her know that I still exist.

There's a little farm down the street from us that has some fun fall activities and animals that you can feed. They have a little shop in their barn that is mostly creepy but I got a bunch of honey crisp apples for way less than the grocery store, so I guess I can handle this watching me as I shop around:

She has reverse vitiligo on her face. 

We also visited the zoo, had lunch while we watched airplanes take off and land at the airport, checked out Art Prize, and had the time of our lives at the Grand Rapids Oktoberfest.

Lena surprisingly loved the loud music and dancing!

Lottie made friends on the dance floor and they copied whatever the other was doing.

Charotte was so excited about "going dancing" and she danced for close to 2 hours. When it was time to eat, she would boogie with tears streaming down her face saying "just wanna dance!" It was awesome.

In unrelated fall fun stories, this morning Lena was wailing about nothing in particular when I realized she had called a neighbor (and friend - so it's not completely absurd) on my phone. I grabbed the phone from her and promptly disconnected without checking to see if my friend was on the other end. Well of course, she immediately calls me back. Since it was morning and I hadn't yet had my coffee or whatever other excuse I can find, I was having a hard time putting words together as I tried to explain that my shrieking 1 year old didn't dial her because of an emergency. But it probably wasn't that convincing  because I couldn't form a coherent phrase. I believe the first thing I uttered was "sorry she called me."

I hadn't gotten much sleep because of the unknown metamorphosis my baby is undergoing so I sounded like an idiot. Imagine getting a phone call at 7:30 am and hearing a baby shouting at you on the other end. That's no way to start the day. So for that, Kim, I apologize. And also welcome to my life.

Okay really. Will the crabbiness ever stop? We've had a couple good weeks here and there, but she is persistent in letting me know that this will be her personality for the rest of her life. 

Did you have a cranky baby that morphed into a gentle butterfly of a toddler? Make up a story if you have to.

Immunizations for Cranky Pants

Last Friday, I took the girls to the doctor for Lena's one year visit and surprise, they both got immunizations! Charlotte got the Flumist nasal spray flu shot and Lena got 4 bad boys in her pudgy arms. We've never dealt with any major side effects after shots besides an occasional low grade fever and extra sleepiness.

Because of that, I didn't expect this round to be much different. Well, if you don't recall, I am a fool.
Saturday evening my mom watching the girls while we were away and she mentioned the Lena had been crying on and off for a few hours after 10pm. That's not normal, and if it does happen, I know it's not magically going to stop once I bring her home. She was up early and absolutely freaking out. I got up a few times before I demanded  asked nicely that my husband get up and take a turn. He got her back to sleep after about 20 minutes, and shortly after she woke again. It was about 7am, and since we were out pretty late, neither of us was too thrilled to begin the day. Lena didn't seem ready to be up since she was so angry. I'm talking arching her back, trying to throw herself out of my arms angry. I'm trying to soothe her, doing all the things that normally work, when suddenly my husband comes into her dark room singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. I thought maybe he was sleep walking or on drugs, but evidently that's how he got her to chill an hour earlier. It didn't work this time around. I convinced myself at one point that she was having an adverse reaction to her shots and that she was going to have to stay in the hospital and our lives would forever be changed. But then I sat with her outside in the cool weather and she finally chilled. (HA GET IT?)

We went back inside and she sat down and played like she wasn't just possessed for hours.
This has happened twice since yesterday morning. She's been up 5-6 times at night, and taking crappy naps. I blamed it on the shots, but after she skipped her afternoon nap today and freaked out instead, I called the doctor (mostly so I could tell them that I hate them). They did explain that since she got two new ones that she hasn't had before, that could explain it. She also said she just talked with a mom who said her one year old was cranky for a week after her shots.

On top of Lena's crankiness, Charlotte got a high fever (103*) yesterday and was moaning and whining and had a runny nose. So thanks Flumist for wrecking my Sunday recovery day from our fun night out.

Speaking of fun night out, we were guests at the Metro Health Hospital Foundation dinner. It was a black tie event so we got all dressed up like we were important people.

she looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends.

I actually rented my dress from Rent the Runway and highly recommend it! If you do end up needing to rent, you can get $20 off by using that link, by the way. :) I definitely don't have any use for full length gowns in my closet, and even if I did attend more fancy events, we all know I wouldn't wear the same dress. 

Do your kids get cranky after they have shots or are you a good parent who chooses to not poison your children? 

I am That Mom.

My kids are those kids.

We have arrived!

Today I needed to head to Target to pick up a couple of things and just get out of the house. Lena has been taking a super short morning nap the past two days, and if we don't fill up the time, we all start going a little crazy.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw a woman putting away a cart and told her I'd take it from her. She saw me loading up my kids and said "oh wow! you have your hands full!" I replied "Oh, I only have two! ...But I guess I only have two hands, so yes. My hands are full." But I was upbeat and positive, because my kids are just so doggone sweet and angelic and darling and polite.

We walked into the store, and Charlotte was bee bopping around, Prancercise style:

She pranced her way over to a Disney Princess shopping cart and was completely fascinated with it. Normally, she has no problem with putting a toy back at the store, but she wanted to push it around. Instead of dealing with a potential spazz attack now, I decided to let her push it around the store while we shopped and then we could put it back later. (I am an idiot.)

At this point, the only mischief she was getting into was bumping into my cart and saying "Cheers!"

Any time she sees two like-objects, she clinks them together does a small toast. It's especially great when she bumps shoulders with Lena in a matching outfit.

I found the items we needed, which included some giant storage containers for their outgrown clothes. The cart was pretty full, and I had the lids of the bins on the rack beneath the cart. It was time for us to check out, which meant it was time to put the beloved princess shopping cart away. 

As we turned down the aisle, Charlotte saw another toy shopping cart and needed to clink them together and shout "cheers!" and while she was putting the less-loved cart back, I secretly took the princess cart and put it back on a high shelf without her noticing. 

A look of panic washed over Charlotte's face as she saw her soul mate-toy went missing. She was calling out for the cart as if it would come wheeling around the corner like her trusty dog. When it didn't appear, she went back for cart #2 and decided that one would do. 

I explained to her that she already has a shopping cart at home. 

<sobs>

I asked her if she brought her money (like $1.25 in change), because she needs money to buy it.

<says no, sobs more>

I was holding Lena during this time since she was sick of sitting in the cart, and I had to put her back so I could reason with the terrorist. A strange lady approaches and actually helped by playing peek-a-boo with Lena while I attempted to talk Charlotte off the ledge.

And miracle of miracles, Charlotte got up off the floor (did I mention she was sitting on the floor? Her latest protest position) and we continued on. About 10 steps later, she decides she is not quite done mourning. She throws her body down onto the floor and starts crying some more. 

Lena continues to cry in the cart. 

I'm crouched down trying to get through to the toddler. "I remember when I was little...."

(This gets her attention EVERY time.) 

"...I would go to the store with my mom. You know, Grandma."
<stops crying>
"It was so hard seeing all of those fun toys at the store without taking them home. But Grandma told me about all of the fun things we could do at home with my toys....." and more lies and more lies and more lies.

<gets up and starts walking>
Ten steps later, she begins to wail again. A crabby old woman looks at me and I tell her that I'm just living the dream. She told me that she had two girls "10 and 3/4 months apart". Instead of getting into the nitty gritty of that, I just said "then you know how it goes." And she agreed and went on her way. 

At this point, Charlotte's face is blotchy and red, she's got drool on her shirt and snot dripping down her face. She shoved the cart so that all of the lids to the bins went flying out and scattered across the floor right near the checkout. I'm doing my best not to lose my shit, and I'm getting my items out of the cart to buy.

I was laughing to the cashier about how I just need to get out of there and as she totaled up my items, I realized I didn't have my debit card. The one that was in my pocket last night. The one that I held and said to a neighbor "I really need to stop putting this in my pocket. I'm just going to forget about it." The one that I put on the counter instead of in my purse "so I would remember it". 

Yes, people. This is my life. I asked if she could suspend the order or whatever so I could run home (thankful, once again, that I live a couple of short miles away). She was able to do so, and I got the whole thing figured out, but seriously.

I'm afraid that this is becoming the norm, as Charlotte has had meltdowns just about everywhere lately. 

So if you have any coping mechanisms, please do share! I could use all the help I can get. 

Picture Post Because I'm Lazy

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last wrote. For being told I talked too much as a youngster, I just don't have much to say these days.

There's plenty that has been going on. A lot, really. But with my frequent facebook picture posts and instagram, it seems that people already have a pretty good idea of what's been filling up my time.

THIS. 

My normal abundance of patience is wearing thin as Lena has spent about 85% of the last week crying about being cute, fed, warm and loved. I don't know if she's getting a tooth or just preparing me for being crabby for the rest of my life, but it is getting exhausting listening to the whining. She is usually very content when she's within smelling distance of me. Seeing me isn't enough, she needs the essence of mom.

But when she's happy, it sure is fun. 

I took about 50 pictures today of Lena trying to take Charlotte's cookie, and Charlotte subsequently sharing it and then kissing her on the head. Where she learns this sweet behavior, I do not know, but I will take credit for it.

Now that summer is approaching and it's going to getting hot, I want to get in a good routine to pass the time and enjoy the summer. I've been feeling somewhat burned out and maybe getting into a new season with new activities will get me out my rut. 

What are your favorite warm weather activities with your kids? (or places to cool off when it's too hot?)

Lottie Lately

It's been a while since I've posted anything and it's mostly because I just don't have much to write about!
Then of course, I remember that the original point of the blog was to document even the mundane for me to look back on one day.
So the mundane is actually sort of exciting for me. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that we started potty training Charlotte. I'm somewhat proud to say that we haven't quit. The first few weeks were hit or miss, almost literally, but then this week it just totally clicked for her.
We went from excitement about the potty, to sheer horror at the thought in the matter of days. I completely stepped back and left it up to her, and she continued her interest. After asking some friends about what I should do about the tantrums, a few people suggest that I just stop altogether, and it just didn't feel right.
I would ask each day if Charlotte wanted a diaper or undies, and we'd go ahead with what she chose. Most days she'd tell me if she had to go, and I would have to undo her diaper and everything, but she would always sit and go.
Last week she wore only diapers, but kept them completely dry except during naps and nighttime. This week she chose undies and has not only had zero accidents, but she's used the bathroom while we were out to lunch twice this week! She's no longer scared of the big toilet, which apparently happened overnight, and she does better at bath time too. We had a few weeks of struggles because I think the warm water made her have to go and she sorta freaked out about it.
We've made great strides in a few short weeks and I'm really excited about it. This will save both money and time doing laundry. I imagine there may be setbacks in the future, but I'm hoping that I won't have to worry about that.

In other news, the weather has been very unpredictable here lately. We've had a few nice days, but some record setting flooding too. We've been fortunate to be dry, but we can't say the same for some of our family. It's starting to warm up, and I hope that it stays warm now!
Our neighborhood has a couple of small parks and whenever it's sunny, Charlotte demands that we visit the park. One day, the "baby park" was flooded so instead of the small slides and climbing structures Charlotte can manage easily, we headed back to the big structure right on our street.
By the time I had Lena on the bench, Charlotte was off to explore. And I had to talk myself out of a panic attack.

Deuces, mom. I'm outta here.

NBD. 

You have to pump your legs, Lena. 

The weather warmed up on Monday, so I took some laundry outside to fold, and Charlotte just lounged and enjoyed the warmth.

I'm probably not doing her any favors giving her outdated toys like the etch-a-sketch. But she played with it for almost a half hour outside.

 She's now referring to herself solely as Lottie and my husband usually calls her that now too. It might be sticking.
I do feel like I should pinch myself because boy, this little kid can be sweet. Her little sister is pretty nice too. I'll write more on her next time.

The Glamour of Motherhood

On Saturday, my husband left in the wee hours to drive down to Atlanta with his brothers to go see Michigan play in NCAA Final Four/Championship game. I recognized that this was pretty much a once in a lifetime chance for them and they are huge fans.

I gave him a little piece of my mind before he left, just explaining that with the ages that our girls are right now, it's not exactly a piece of cake on a day to day basis. He definitely acknowledged that, but wow, things got interesting.

I mentioned before that we're attempting potty training with Charlotte. The first week was great, then we had a really tough time where she was too scared to sit on the potty, but didn't want to go in her diaper either. Many tantrums occurred, and she started to get a really bad attitude. I was nervous about dealing with it on my own 24/7. On top of that, the hours between 4:30-7 are hellish between trying to prepare dinner, calming a fussy 6 month old who wants to be held, watching the two year old to make sure she gets to the bathroom on time, feeding both children, bathing both children, getting them both off to bed...
oh wah wah wah you say. And that's fine, because I probably would have said that before I had two little kids.

All has been going well, really. Charlotte was super happy on Sunday, used the potty without crying, and had no accidents, and was just fun to be around. I had my parents over in the evening for dinner so they could occupy the kids and give me a little break while I prepared dinner.
Then we get to Monday. I go into Charlotte's room at 9:30 (she's a lazy bones) and noticed quickly that she had thrown up all over the place, and the poor thing just slept in it. I quickly called my friend who was on her way over for a playdate to cancel, just in case this wasn't a one-time thing. Charlotte seemed happy, but was concerned that this whole mess was poop and that really freaked her out. I thought about explaining what vomit was, but she seemed pretty bewildered as it was.
I got her in the tub, put Lena down for a nap and took off all of Charlotte's bedding to get in the wash.
I was giving myself a little pat on the back for remaining cool, calm and collected throughout all of this. I am pretty much the best mom ever.

I offered her a mini muffin that I made fresh that morning, and she wouldn't touch it. She drank a little milk (that I hesitantly offered), and seemed pretty chipper. So chipper that she started hopping around like a frog during a song, and I told her that maybe that wasn't a great idea.
"Tum hurt!"
<barf!!!!!>
I was folding laundry, so I just grabbed a towel and guided her to her little potty where instinct took over and she barfed there. No mess! I am rockin it!!!
After getting everything cleaned up, I made Charlotte a little spot on the couch with some towels and a pillow. I peek up at Lena who is in her swing, DANGLING.

Not nearly as frightening as this

Her legs were hanging off the side, and even if she had fallen, she would not have been injured. I learned that it's time to use the little harness. That incident basically took away any positive feelings I was having towards myself for the day.

Charlotte continued to be sick throughout the day, and unlike many mothers I've read about, I had no instincts to catch her puke with my hands. That shit cray.

Crying out to the heavens. WHYYYY

so sad.

We managed to make it through the day, and we were so happy to have Marcus home on Tuesday. I'm wondering if there's any chance the rest of us will come through this unscathed, but I suppose only time will tell. I had two miss two workouts this week that I already paid for, cancel a play date and a get together with a friend. The one week I had some semblance of a social life, completely went to crap.

 We've been blessed enough to be quite healthy most of the time, but lately we just haven't caught much of a break. But like always, it could be much worse. I'm such a silver linings type of girl. 

She's still pretty whiny and every morning she's crying about her pajamas and I can't figure out the problem. But such is the life of a two year old - spazzing and being particular about everything for no reason. 

This concludes the story of my super fancy stay-at-home life. 

Being Two

1. I want oatmeal!
2. This is good, but it'd be even better if I could eat it on the stairs.
3. It would be even more delicious if I didn't have to feed myself. "MOMMY!"
4. I have to go potty.
5. Oh! The Cat in the Hat is on! 
6. I really need to pee.
7. Where are my sparkly shoes?
8. It's been a couple hours, I think I'll start crying.
9. I'm going to see how much crazy shit my mom will do in hopes that I'll use the potty.
10. Hahaha, she's a fool. 
11. Play-doh!
12. Where's Grandma?
13. Where's the dog? 
14. I bet the dog likes play-doh.
15. Why isn't Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on RIGHT NOW.
16. I want milk.
17. No, water.
18. Wait, juice.
19. no, milk.
20. wait, water.
21. this water is not actually what I wanted.
22. Milk, please.
23. POTTY NOW
24. Scream in terror in anticipation
25. CELEBRATE, LET'S CLAP OUR HANDS!
26. I'm hungry.
27. I refuse to accept any offers on lunch choices.
28. My hair wants to be brushed.
29. I want to brush the baby's hair.
30. Why doesn't the baby have hair.
31. Where's my lunch.
32. I want a diaper change, but I'm not wearing a diaper.
33. Ask for diaper, but I'll cry when it's on.
34. Mommy looks like she needs a hug
35. I think she wants to be kicked
36. It's time to read 15 books.
37. I love cuddling with my mom.
38. I feel funny. Like I just really need to scream.
39. Like I'm losing all control. 
40. Time to slam my body down
41. and wind it all around
42. Slam, Slam, Slam, Slam
43. Zig a zig ah.
44. Nap time. finally I can take a break from the theatrics.

We've got a two year old in full force these days. Her favorite word is no. Says it for everything. Then gets angry when you don't know when she actually means yes.

Fortunately, the tantrums have only happened while at home. (my mom's house too). The moment she busts it out in public is the day she knows she's winning the battle.

wish me luck.

I'm 75% cute, 15% sweet, 95% INSANE

Lottie Dottie, She Likes to Potty

This summer, when Charlotte was 18-19 months, she expressed interest in trying out the potty. I felt like maybe it was a little early, but since she was interested, we gave it a go. She went a few times, had a couple small accidents, but I didn't push for it at all.

I was enormously pregnant with Lena at the time and everyone thought that two kids in diapers would be so much work, but actually, it's probably a lot easier than having to rush off with one to the can at a moments notice.

Over the past several months, Charlotte has completely ignored her little potty chair, and I haven't bothered. We had a couple of trips planned and honestly, it was easier for me if she stayed in diapers. Gross, I know.

But lately, she's been wanting to try again, and I'm thinking this is our window. I can't give up now. 

I read the 3 day potty training bootcamp a few months ago and we sort of follow it, but I can't commit to saying no diapers ever again. We will work on naps and night time once she seems to have day times figured out. Over the course of three days, there has only been one accident, and I am so proud of her.

During this time, there is a ridiculous amount of bribing, tv, kid's songs, dancing, and phone calls to dad to tell him the big news. 

I really have no idea how long this whole thing is supposed to take, but I think we're in it to win it now. I've noticed she's been a little more emotional over all. Who knew that diapers provided a sense of security? She definitely gets nervous before going, so I mostly just stay chill and say "you can do it." while blogging or something. 

In other non-bodily function news, Charlotte has been referring to herself as Lottie and I love it. I always loved it as a nickname since I saw the movie A Little Princess and her character was so cute. While we were in Florida, we half jokingly started calling her that, and it's starting to stick. 

She's at a really fun age right now, and her speech is improving a ton so it's funny to hear some of the things she comes up with. She sometimes protests when I pick out a certain outfit and then when I let her choose something, it ends up looking something like this:

And it horrifies me. Other times, she prefers to wear an oversized Elmo shirt or the shirt we got on vacation that has a fat ol' manatee on it. Fortunately most of the time she doesn't put up a fight at all and getting dressed is not a battle yet. Hair combing is, and when she wakes up, her hair is a huge tangled, matted mess.

It's next to impossible to comb through this without water and detangler, which leaves her hair really flat and gross looking. Suggestions are appreciated. It takes several minutes to brush through it.

Do you remember picking out your own clothes?

I remember being in 2nd grade and sneaking my sister's black and white striped leggings to school with one of her  plaid sweaters and changing once I got there. She was 5 years older than me and so cool, but would never let me borrow her clothes, so I snuck 'em! (Are you just finding this out now, Steph?)

Being Sick's the Worst

I currently have two sick kiddos.
It's been so rare that Charlotte has been sick for more than a couple of days, and now that Lena is in on it, it's double trouble.

I noticed Charlotte had a  teensy cough last week, and then a fever the next day, and it's continued to spiral down. Lena joined in a couple days later, and the coughing absolutely breaks my heart.
I took Lena to the doctor today for her 6 month appointment/sick kid combo visit, and she's got bronchiolitis which may or may not be caused by RSV. This basically means there's nothing to do but wait. Unless it gets worse, then there's breathing treatments, but so far, no need.

Thankfully they're both sleeping decent (a LOT) but all that means for me is that I'm spying on them to make sure they're still breathing.

On top of all this, now I'm getting sick too. It's interesting how my perception of being sick has changed since having kids.
When I was working before I had babies, if I felt the onset of a cold, I'd be like "bummer." but I'd still go to work (unless it was really bad), infect others, work out, stay out late on the weekends, sleep it off, let the cold get real bad because my lack of rest, and then I'd take a day or two to get it together and hopefully I'd be better. I don't too often get sick so this wasn't a big issue.
Now that I have kids, the moment that I get the throat tickle, or the tingly nose sensation, I'm like "OH MY GOSH THIS BETTER NOT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO".
Disclaimer: this is not me being a martyr. I have sought reinforcements a time or two when ill.
But there is no calling in sick. All of the things? They still must get done. Because otherwise there will be lots of diapers dragging on the ground from their weight. That's really the main thing. I'll let the house suffer. We'll get take out for dinner.
The other issue is really hoping that your kids don't get sick too. In this case, it's had the opposite effect. I got sick from the kids, who got sick from church nursery. Which is basically another whole can of worms that I probably shouldn't get into.

Everyone has been so helpful with remedies and tips for taking care of the little ones who can't take a slew of drugs to alleviate their ailments. So far, my favorite has been the apple cider vinegar, cayenne, honey, and ginger concoction that I would never in a billion years give to my kid, and ohmygosh it tasted so so so bad, but it worked on me. But know this: do not take it on an empty stomach. hurl!

Do you have any home remedies you swear by?  Not just for kids or colds, but for anything.
We used to be told that burnt toast would prevent a hangover. It didn't.

Just a Day in the Life

Every Monday around 1:30 I start to question my capability of being a mother. Coming off from a weekend where I had extra help makes Mondays all the more challenging.

Today was extra monday-y because Charlotte was testing me more than usual. I'd ask her to do something for me like "can you pick up the paci that I just dropped?" and she ignores me. So I said "Charlotte. You need to listen to me when I'm talking to you." dead behind the eyes.
"Kay. One more time. Please pick up the paci for mommy. Lena needs it." So she picks it up and THROWS  it.

Lena has been taking short naps (30-45 minutes) and shrieks until she's fed. I just can't imagine she's that hungry after 2 hours, but I always offer her a bottle, and she drinks 3/4 of it, and wants more later. When she's not supposed to be napping, she is a peach. Very smiley and easy going. But holy crap. If you pop in and offer her a pacifier after she wakes, you'd think that she got her finger slammed in a door. She will not calm down until she gets fed. Rocking her and attempting to soothe her just fuels any fire. She eats so much now that she gets bottles, I just can't believe she can be that hungry. So I feed her, and all feelings of me wanting to run away from home go away as soon as she's not wailing.

Today at lunch, Charlotte told me she wanted macaroni and cheese. Well, in so many words. I figured out what she wanted, and she sat in her chair and waited. Well, saying she waited is giving her a lot of credit. She said "keeze!" (cheese) about one million times while getting more angry and impatient. The kitchen was an absolute disaster, I had to change Lena and get her down for a nap, all while ensuring the pot didn't boil over. Both the literal pot and the figurative pot of my brain boiling out of my ears and eyeballs.

After her mac and cheese, Charlotte asked for some yogurt on a "plate".
wrong move by mom #1: I put it in a small bowl.
So when she spazzed, I took it away from her. She stopped crying and I asked if she wanted it back. She said yes.
I gave her a spoon and she pushed it away.

I didn't realize I picked out the evil kind.
(the internet is so great.)

wrong move by mom #2: put yogurt in spoon and attempt to feed her. got some in her protesting pie hole.
She then took her hand and scooped the yogurt out of her mouth. And then ate it off her hand.
What in the crap, sister?

Like I mentioned in a previous post, she really is quite easy, but of course since I put that out into the universe, it gets blown up in my face.
The last few days during nap time I hear her chatting a majority of the time about rockets. Probably talking to her home base on Mars.
Last night I put her to bed and an hour later she's yapping away. I go in and tell her to go to sleep and she says "okay mommy." and I don't hear a peep.
I think skipping sleep is catching up with her and that's why she has a love/hate with me and yogurt. Also, she's 2. She has a love/hate with everything at any given moment.

I've been asked by a couple of people recently if I want to go back to work. I can't help but think they're hinting that maybe I'm no good at this mom-thing and I should let someone else take over.
That's the sneaky postpartum depression remnants messing with my brain, because if I step outside of my brain (not literally possible), I recognize that they're just asking. Maybe suggesting that I get out of the house or something. But I can't help it. So then when I have nutso days where I feel like I'm losing it, I'm worried I'm not cut out for the job.

Winter is especially tough because we spend all of our time inside. The conditions are not ideal for a stroller walk, and to play with Charlotte in the snow while the baby sleeps doesn't give us very much time once all the snow gear is on.

We do have a vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and it will be really nice to get away and have family members that (hopefully) enjoy spending time with the girls so it makes my job a lot easier. I'm more anxious about how Lena will do on the plane this time around vs when she was 10 weeks and sleeping in my arms. I plan on having a lot of bottles ready as that seems to be her favorite thing lately.

Sorry for the lack of any interesting pictures. I do have a cute little video I shot with #vine (yep. I just hashtagged that.)
It's supposed to loop over and over, but I can't get it do it here.

My favorite is when she dances down by Lena. What a cheeser. 

I know I can't possibly be alone when I feel like I'm going nuts staying at home with my kids, but what kind of odd behavior do your children exhibit that try your patience? 

Two Easy

Now that Charlotte is a two year old, she's really showing her true colors. Lucky for us, her colors are laid back, easy going, and holy cow I better not ever complain. 

While I totally know there are many challenges ahead, this girl is the reason why we wanted more kids. Charlotte definitely has her moments (sometimes those moments last a couple of weeks), but overall, she is just a little peach. People occasionally will sympathize and say how it must be exhausting having a two year old and a baby, and I gracefully choose to say, yes, it can be tiring. 

There are days like yesterday (where I found out a friend fell witness to the incident) where I needed to "quick" run into the store, and Charlotte was pissed. It was raining, puddles were everywhere, and as I was getting Lena out of the van, Charlotte plopped herself on the ground in a heap crying because she didn't want to go in the store. I parked right next to the cart thinger, only to have it completely empty, so I had to carry both girls into the store. Normally I wouldn't carry Charlotte, but she was having a meltdown and it was the only way to get her inside. Then her shoe fell off in the middle of the parking lot, so I had to bend down while holding toddler and infant carrier, and I put the shoe in the car seat. You would have thought I cancelled Christmas with the reaction of "giving Lena" the shoe. Once we got into the store, she zipped it up because I started singing the itsy bitsy spider. 

But most days are this: wake up around 9:30 after 13.5 hours of sleep. Enjoy breakfast all while telling me how "nummy" it is. Get ready, play with toys, head out of the house after Lena wakes up from her nap if we're feeling especially brave (or desperate), and then on the way home she tells me she's tired, and she goes upstairs and takes a 3 hour nap. 

There are tantrums, full on tears, snot and drool mixed together...this usually occurs around 5pm. There are days where she throws a bowl of cereal at me, and days where nothing can make her happy. But the moments of sweet innocent little girlness are far more common at this stage. I am writing this down so that one day, when she does a 180 and it lasts for so long I won't remember these days, there will be proof in writing that she used to be a sweet little girl.

Today we had lunch with my husband. She had the salad bar (free if you're under 5! our server actually asked if she was under 5.)  and her three plates consisted of raw broccoli, peas, strawberries, grapes, garbanzo beans, hard boiled eggs and diced ham. She was even calling the garbanzo beans "marshmallows" and was eating the peas by the handful. Where did she come from??

Charlotte loves to dance and I try to record it, but if she catches me, she runs up to my phone and looks to see, but of course there's nothing to see once she's behind it. She loves to cuddle, read, and pretend every toy is food. Some people build towers with blocks, she serves blocks up individually as cookies, cake and muffins. Rockets are her new favorite mode of transportation, and she has sound effects and talks about outer space. Probably because that's where she came from. 

Lena has a humidifier in her room and Charlotte thinks it's a rocket, and she never gets too close because she thinks it's hot. 

"Rocket."

I might introduce her to the Astronaut Jones theme song. 

She loves her baby sister, and even when she gets sick of her, she's still nice.

Yesterday Lena kept putting her hand on Charlotte's leg, and Charlotte would slowly take it off and act as if nothing had happened.

K, you're touching me, but I'll see if you move on your own.

no? okay, I'm just going to slowly move your hand away.

I make the call on when it's hand holding time.

And while I might only be writing these nice things because of this "story" that Kara sent me, it's also because of this, that was shared by Betsy.

So if Charlotte being herself was enough for us to want another child and having Lena was enough to make us want to be done, you might think that's cruel, or that Lena is so difficult. But the truth is, *if* we are stopping at two, it's only because we can't imagine it going any better, so why tempt fate? 

If you have younger siblings do you think it's because your parents wanted another one like you, or because they thought they could do better? 

I'm the youngest because perfection was finally reached once I was born. 

Getting Fit For Bathing Suit Season

You may think that the title of the post is for me. After all, I've been running, started up Insanity and attempt to get fit on a very occasional basis.
But it's not. It's for Lena. She's on a very strict diet and I finally have her down to just under 12 pounds at 4 months! She'll be looking great for our vacation in 5 weeks for sure!!

I kid.
Lena and Charlotte had a doctor appointment today and little Lena is exactly that. Little. She's in the 10th percentile for height and weight, and as I suspected over the last couple of weeks, she's quite hungry. I've been supplementing with bottles/formula for a couple of weeks, but it's time to just switch her over completely. I always said I wouldn't feel bad about being done with breastfeeding, but there's a little part of me that definitely does. Her ped is not concerned, so we'll see how she grows in the next two months. I have a feeling it will sky rocket with the recommended intro to solids too. Hopefully!

But the doctor's appointment went well overall. I had my husband meet me at the office because I wasn't sure I could handle two kids getting shots. Charlotte was not pleased initially, but I gave her some freeze dried strawberries and she shut her yap real quick.

Their ped seemed surprised that we hadn't been in since July and when I think about it, that's pretty awesome! We've all been so healthy it's easy to take it for granted. And when she asked about Charlotte's coordination, like if she trips or falls more than other kids, I laughed and said she's never actually gotten hurt. It's not like she sits around all day, she jumps and dances, but she's gotten like one bump on her head in 2 years and a scraped knee once. She sleeps a ridiculous amount and I was almost concerned about it, but the doctor was like "ENJOY IT." and told me to keep her in her crib until she's three. Fine with me!

Yah, this is not all that interesting, but it's just what's going on. High five for making it through.
You will be rewarded with this fascinating video of how two sisters can be so different.

Adventures in Babysitting

After we had Charlotte, we pretty much stuck to family for babysitting. We occasionally had a friend or a friend's sibling help us for those quick middle of the day things, but in general, we relied on our family. 

I was just a lot more comfortable with family, I knew they loved her and had her best interests in mind.
At the same time, I didn't want to take advantage of our family or ask that they come out to our house every time so Charlotte could sleep in her own bed.

Now that we have Lena, I've finally decided it's time to find some "outside" help. After asking around, I decided to post a job at the Calvin College job board. Within a week, I had 6 responses! I couldn't believe it. I didn't do any sort of major interview over email, but I basically asked if they were comfortable watching a younger infant because I know that's probably the most challenging part of it.

HOW COULD YOU SAY I'M CHALLENGING?!

Of course, everyone said they were fine with it, but I still waited 6 weeks before I "hired" anyone. Over those 6 weeks, Lena has learned to put herself to sleep in her crib, but has also started waking up more in the last 2 weeks. So now I'm supposed to instruct someone who doesn't know my kid how to take care of her when I barely know how myself.

Last night was the first time we left both girls with a complete stranger. And let me just say, she made it easy to leave. When she arrived, Lena immediately grinned at her, and Charlotte said "hi" and was really excited about a new friend. Earlier in the day we had some friends over, and Charlotte played shy for the first hour, so I was really pleased to see how she warmed up right away. As I went over instructions and gave her a mini tour of the house, I knew it would go well...except I wasn't feeling completely confident with her knowing what to do with Lena. But come on. How could she?

me: Just swaddle her up and put her in her crib to sleep. She might whine at first, but she will go to sleep.
her: What do I use to swaddle her?
me: oh yeah.
So I had to show her the velcro swaddleme thinger and hope she was okay with pinning down her arms. It's not always easy if you don't have a baby and you feel like they "don't like it."

me: okay, so if she wakes up, which she probably will...maybe around 8...? or something? you can give her a bottle. If you want, you can give it to her in her room and see if she goes back to sleep....on second thought, you can just get her up if you want....she'll probably be up for an hour or so...I guess I don't really know...

How could I expect someone to know what to do given that crappy instruct? I told her I'd check in after Charlotte's bedtime and when I did, I just told her to trust her instincts with Lena because that's about all you can do.

We enjoyed our evening out, but of course I was curious how she was doing at home.
Over all, I think it went well. She left Charlotte's door open and she's right next to Lena's room, so when the sitter told me that Charlotte woke up a couple of times I was like "huh??" She hasn't done that in over a year.  But obviously when Lena was shrieking, it woke Charlotte up. And Lena stayed up until 10 or so, which isn't a huge deal. I was reeeeaallly hoping Lena would sleep like she has in the past when her grandparents have watched her. Without fail, she would sleep 8-10 hours after being babysat. Nope. Not this time. Worst night yet. She cried from 2:15-5:30. I really hope we're over this regression hump soon.
I will feel a lot more confident leaving her with someone once she has a solid bedtime, isn't crying it out, and is down for the night (or so).

It's a good thing I'm cute, huh?

Get over yourself. I hope you're a middle child someday. 

We currently have 2 gift cards left to some good date restaurants, so our plan is to have a babysitter when we go so it'll balance out the cost of a night out. 

When I babysat, I made about $3/hour. $5 was like the jackpot. I also walked to school uphill both ways.
man, I'm old.
Anyone know the going rate for babysitters? And can I pay them in Home Depot gift cards or old clothes I'm looking to get rid of?