Toddler Birthdays and Losing My Ever Loving Mind

You know that feeling when you wake up and you're all "I have absolutely no idea what day it could even be." Like it feels like it's a new day of the week that's never even been invented. A brand new unknown day of the week that has no assignment. No work, no church, no school, no sleeping in. Just strange and confusing.
That was this morning.
My husband leaned over and gave me a smooch goodbye while I was still sleeping this morning. I never even woke with his alarm. I was all "Where are you going?!" Like accusing him of having plans on a day that doesn't even exist.
Then I snapped back into reality and realized it was Monday, Lena's 2nd birthday.

Under most circumstances, I would not forget it was my child's birthday. But then again I've only been doing this mom thing for not even 4 years. I have plenty of years ahead to forget about birthdays. But so far, I haven't forgotten any. In fact, I usually have a good plan as to how we'll celebrate.  Today was different. We've had a crazy 5 days with Lena getting super sick, Charlotte had a really high fever and was stumbling around like a drunk and I almost brought her in. Between dealing with clingy, sad, pissed off little kids and cleaning up vomit, losing sleep and canceling Lena's birthday party because of hand, foot, and mouth disease, my brain has been in a bit of a fog. Maybe I also have the virus and have lesions on my brain.

This never happens

They give me so much love

This REALLY never happens

Once we got the day started, it was fairly normal but out of our normal routine since I couldn't take the girls to the gym KidZone. I made the traditional birthday pancake and it was actually well received despite their normal attitude when I present them with a delicious meal. Maybe I should serve more meals with whipped cream from a can.

After doing awesome mom stuff like changing gross diapers, I decided it was time to call the doctor about some interesting #2s Lena's been having since she was sick. Her dukes are straight up black. I know that that can mean blood, but I wanted to wait it out to see if it cleared up. It didn't. So I called and they wanted to get her in asap. I stayed calm, but was still pretty concerned about the outcome - it could be so many different things.  It tested positive for blood and the doctor said it's not typical, but it could be that she has the hand, foot and mouth lesions down the bottom of her throat. It's common to have the sores inside the throat, but usually not down into the upper GI. He did not seem overly concerned, given that Lena was in good spirits and eating and drinking normally. We just need to give it more time at this point. What a fun way to spend her birthday!

Then we met up with my husband for a birthday lunch and also to spread germs to as many strangers as possible. He was on a conference call and ended up being almost 30 minutes late and my debit card was declined because I apparently I am scum. So I waited with two cranky kids at Culvers with no food because I didn't have the funds to pay for it. We had a seat while we waited and they brought out a huge box of crayons and some coloring pages for the girls. So nice!!
Once Marcus arrived and was ready to pay, they brought our food out and said "don't worry about it. It's all taken care of." I almost lost it blubbering like a fool, but I kept it to a general "eyes misty with gratitude." It had just been such a crazy morning, I was really taken aback at their kindness.

The main reason we chose Culvers is because CUSTARD.  What better birthday treat than frozen custard with sprinkles!

Focusing on what's important here.

I got the kids home and they both took killer naps, I even snuck one in too because I'm ultra productive. 

Since it's Monday, Charlotte now has ballet in the evenings. I knew ballet began at 6:00. So I got Charlotte dressed, fixed her ponytail and loaded both her and Lena up. We arrived with a few minutes to spare so I responded to some texts in the parking lot. Once we got to the classroom, I was surprised to see all the little kids prancing about. I asked another parent if it indeed began at 6. She confirmed but then looked at me quizzically and added "it's 6:25 right now."
And in that moment, I had that very same feeling I had upon waking this morning. This strange time vortex where I was left bewildered and like I was only one left out of this new way of counting days and time. Everyone else seems to know what's going on but somehow I missed the memo of how time works. My forehead literally hurts from having a confused look about where those 25 minutes before ballet went. These are serious problems, people.

Related: I'm also confused about how my iPhone is autocorrecting "yes" to "Myra." It makes me look even crazier via text. 

I'm looking forward to everyone being healthy and me feeling much less insane. Is this even a possibility?

Fall Fun

The weather here has been so nice the past few weeks! They say it's "unseasonably" warm, but the last several years it's stayed warm into October. The polar bears love it.

We've been trying to take advantage of the warm weather and smaller crowds now that everyone's kids are in school, so our schedule has been jam packed.

I'm trying to just accept the fact that I have an uber cranky baby and just move forward with my life, but each day poses as an opportunity for Lena to spaz for no reason. I've found that taking her out and getting into the nice weather is usually the solution to this problem. I've also learned that if things are going well, I just need to let sleeping dogs lie and not call attention to myself by taking pictures of her or letting her know that I still exist.

There's a little farm down the street from us that has some fun fall activities and animals that you can feed. They have a little shop in their barn that is mostly creepy but I got a bunch of honey crisp apples for way less than the grocery store, so I guess I can handle this watching me as I shop around:

She has reverse vitiligo on her face. 

We also visited the zoo, had lunch while we watched airplanes take off and land at the airport, checked out Art Prize, and had the time of our lives at the Grand Rapids Oktoberfest.

Lena surprisingly loved the loud music and dancing!

Lottie made friends on the dance floor and they copied whatever the other was doing.

Charotte was so excited about "going dancing" and she danced for close to 2 hours. When it was time to eat, she would boogie with tears streaming down her face saying "just wanna dance!" It was awesome.

In unrelated fall fun stories, this morning Lena was wailing about nothing in particular when I realized she had called a neighbor (and friend - so it's not completely absurd) on my phone. I grabbed the phone from her and promptly disconnected without checking to see if my friend was on the other end. Well of course, she immediately calls me back. Since it was morning and I hadn't yet had my coffee or whatever other excuse I can find, I was having a hard time putting words together as I tried to explain that my shrieking 1 year old didn't dial her because of an emergency. But it probably wasn't that convincing  because I couldn't form a coherent phrase. I believe the first thing I uttered was "sorry she called me."

I hadn't gotten much sleep because of the unknown metamorphosis my baby is undergoing so I sounded like an idiot. Imagine getting a phone call at 7:30 am and hearing a baby shouting at you on the other end. That's no way to start the day. So for that, Kim, I apologize. And also welcome to my life.

Okay really. Will the crabbiness ever stop? We've had a couple good weeks here and there, but she is persistent in letting me know that this will be her personality for the rest of her life. 

Did you have a cranky baby that morphed into a gentle butterfly of a toddler? Make up a story if you have to.

Immunizations for Cranky Pants

Last Friday, I took the girls to the doctor for Lena's one year visit and surprise, they both got immunizations! Charlotte got the Flumist nasal spray flu shot and Lena got 4 bad boys in her pudgy arms. We've never dealt with any major side effects after shots besides an occasional low grade fever and extra sleepiness.

Because of that, I didn't expect this round to be much different. Well, if you don't recall, I am a fool.
Saturday evening my mom watching the girls while we were away and she mentioned the Lena had been crying on and off for a few hours after 10pm. That's not normal, and if it does happen, I know it's not magically going to stop once I bring her home. She was up early and absolutely freaking out. I got up a few times before I demanded  asked nicely that my husband get up and take a turn. He got her back to sleep after about 20 minutes, and shortly after she woke again. It was about 7am, and since we were out pretty late, neither of us was too thrilled to begin the day. Lena didn't seem ready to be up since she was so angry. I'm talking arching her back, trying to throw herself out of my arms angry. I'm trying to soothe her, doing all the things that normally work, when suddenly my husband comes into her dark room singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. I thought maybe he was sleep walking or on drugs, but evidently that's how he got her to chill an hour earlier. It didn't work this time around. I convinced myself at one point that she was having an adverse reaction to her shots and that she was going to have to stay in the hospital and our lives would forever be changed. But then I sat with her outside in the cool weather and she finally chilled. (HA GET IT?)

We went back inside and she sat down and played like she wasn't just possessed for hours.
This has happened twice since yesterday morning. She's been up 5-6 times at night, and taking crappy naps. I blamed it on the shots, but after she skipped her afternoon nap today and freaked out instead, I called the doctor (mostly so I could tell them that I hate them). They did explain that since she got two new ones that she hasn't had before, that could explain it. She also said she just talked with a mom who said her one year old was cranky for a week after her shots.

On top of Lena's crankiness, Charlotte got a high fever (103*) yesterday and was moaning and whining and had a runny nose. So thanks Flumist for wrecking my Sunday recovery day from our fun night out.

Speaking of fun night out, we were guests at the Metro Health Hospital Foundation dinner. It was a black tie event so we got all dressed up like we were important people.

she looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends.

I actually rented my dress from Rent the Runway and highly recommend it! If you do end up needing to rent, you can get $20 off by using that link, by the way. :) I definitely don't have any use for full length gowns in my closet, and even if I did attend more fancy events, we all know I wouldn't wear the same dress. 

Do your kids get cranky after they have shots or are you a good parent who chooses to not poison your children? 

Lena is ONE!

Just like that, our little squishy, dimpled baby is a year old.

But it wasn't "just like that."

It was year that was not a walk in the park. I mean, we took walks in parks. And I took pictures like omg look what fun! But it was not always fun.

From the start, Lena proved that if she was one thing, it's inconsistent. We would have great weeks and even months, where I had her figured out, and then something mysterious would occur where she'd do a 180 and cry and whine about everything.

She's always been quick to smile, she's always loved to snuggle, and I've always been her favorite. These things haven't changed.

I look forward to things becoming easier, and I hold onto the hope that they will, but I do look back on her days as a small baby fondly. There's something about having another kid that makes you realize how quickly they actually do grow up, and suddenly I'm sounding like the old church lady that tells you to "just enjoy every minute because it goes so quickly". So although it was one of the more challenging years of my adult life, I do remember the sweet moments too.

People had told me that when your kids are close in age, that first year is a blur, and it really was. With Charlotte, I could look at any picture, and tell you exactly how old she was. I knew the activities and the milestones that occurred in each of her months.

I DON'T HAVE A CLUE this time around. In all honesty, I'm glad Lena doesn't do much because I wouldn't remember when she reached her epic milestone. What I do know is that we've all made it through unscathed and I'm ready for our next year with her, because it definitely gets more fun now.
I mean...it does, right?

While I will miss those soft newborn cuddles, I am more than ready for the next year. 

Tough Choices and Child Abandonment

Several weeks ago my husband and I made plans to go away for a long weekend with friends up north. Sans children. We arranged for my parents to watch the girls and the dog, and we originally thought we'd bring them over Friday late afternoon and pick them up Sunday. Then we find out that we could technically leave sooner, like Friday morning. So I ask my mom if that works. It would. Then, one couple was so enthusiastic, they wanted to leave Thursday evening. I ask my mom again, and she was fine with it. I think I was more nervous about leaving than my mom was to watch them, but it was our first trip away since Lena was born, and she's not exactly the easiest baby on earth.

On Wednesday evening, I hear Lena cough a little bit over the baby monitor. Offfffff course she gets a cough before we're supposed to go away. Her cough was really loud and barky. She slept fine through the night but around 5:30 on Thursday morning, she wakes up and she has the most horrible wheeze I've ever heard.
She's pretty worked up, so as I'm trying to calm her down, I called the pediatrician's answering service. I'm waiting for like 10 minutes, and saw screw it, I'm taking her to the emergency room. I knew it sounded like croup, but it was taking so long for her to calm her breathing. I took her outside, but it wasn't cold enough to change her breathing. Marcus convinced not to take her to the ER, she was calming down, just give it a little more time. Her lips weren't blue, but her face was quite pale. As she coughed again, the whole routine started over again. Once she was calm again, I called the on call doctor again, got a hold of him right away this time, and he said I could either go to the ER or wait until the office opened in a couple of hours. Since Lena had fallen back asleep, I decided to just wait. I had taken a video to show her doctor in case her breathing was completely fine by the time she had her visit. Knowing that I had plans to go away, I wanted to find out how serious the thought it was and if it was still ok.

That's not crying, it's breathing. Scary sounding, no?

Of course when we went to the doctor's office, she was much better sounding. They did prescribe her a steroid and I don't know if they would have done it based on her current condition or based on what she sounded like, but I am SO glad they gave us something. The doctor encouraged me to go away for the weekend, and the croup is much scarier sounding than it is, and my mom would be able to handle it. 

So not only was like "hey mom, watch my kids. watch them sooner. wait now watch them even sooner. here's my sick kid! oh and my dog too!"

Turns out, everything was fine! My mom told me that Lena did great, slept all night was mostly chipper. 

She told me she wasn't lying either. I was able to get away for a nice long weekend without feeling *too* guilty about it.

So basically this is a PSA for new moms whose kids haven't been sick yet. This is what croup can sound like. Ask for a steroid and you won't be terrified. Because I know everything there is to know about all babies and all respiratory illnesses.

Would you still go away if your kid got sick in the last minute? Am I horrible mother?!

What Am I Doing Wrong?

Over the last few weeks, Lena has been more unpredictable than a newborn. At 9 months, I really thought we would have this kid pegged. After all, from what I can remember, Charlotte had gotten much easier around 8 months. She started crawling, had teeth, slept great, very predictable.

Why wouldn't my next child be identical to my first? Don't people always talk about how every kid is the same? Wait...I think I've got that wrong.

We had a really great thing going. She'd wake at 7, nap around 9 & 1, bedtime between 6:30-7. She might be crabby every now and again, but whatever.

Me? Crabby? Noooo.

Then she suddenly started sleeping in, sometimes until about 8, and then quietly playing plotting to ruin my life until she called for me. I enjoyed the quiet in the morning, since Charlotte is a late sleeper too. Until I realized it meant her nap would be an hour later than normal, and then the afternoon would be all screwy too and omg I'm suddenly losing all control and I won't ever know what she wants when she wants it.

She thinks I'm sleeping, but I am just one step closer to crushing her spirit.

We've gotten to a point where if she's happy, I can't make eye contact with her. On any given day, you might see me peek around a corner and dart back if I feel she looked in my direction. I've even stood as still as possible with my back against the wall, waiting for her to bring her attention back to her toy. If she is distracted, I quietly sneak past her and fold laundry in another room.

Nap and bed time have gone to complete crap. She was a great self soother at about 4-5 months. I'd plop her down in her bed and say peace out, sister. Now she's been known to cry for up to 2 hours. I don't just leave her in there to cry, I try all sorts of things, but I really don't want to create bad habits either. ("bad" being things I won't feel like doing when she's a year old.) 

Also, when she wakes, a pacifier no longer does the trick. She'll cry for several minutes after you pop it back in. 

She's not crawling, standing or pulling herself up yet. She has no signs of teeth. I will blame her sleep disturbances on those things. Once she figures out how to be a little more mobile, she'll be more tuckered out, less fussy during the day, and hopefully it will solve all of our problems. 

I've got her where I want her. She's like putty in my pudgy hands.

She had her 9 month doctor appointment this week and she looks healthy, despite her odd dimensions. She's pretty much as fat as she is tall. She's in the 10th percentile for height, but the 75% for weight, and the 90% (!!) for her alien shaped head. She's just so different from Charlotte and I need to stop comparing them, but I refuse to believe that my two children will be so different.

I mean look at them, they're practically twins. 

Yeah, they're almost 2 years apart, but their heads are the same size and they almost weigh the same too.

I'm hoping whatever crap phase we're currently going through will pass soon, but in the meantime, I'm thankful for warm weather where I can pour a glass of wine and sit outside for a few minutes while she figures out that she needs to go to sleep without her mother doing 15 simultaneous soothing rituals.

In all honesty, I think we sometimes expect too much of her and forget that she's still a little baby. But her time is running out. She's got 3 months until she's no longer considered a little baby. So live it up, baby. Because soon? I will be in charge again. Right? omg. RIGHT?

Picture Post Because I'm Lazy

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last wrote. For being told I talked too much as a youngster, I just don't have much to say these days.

There's plenty that has been going on. A lot, really. But with my frequent facebook picture posts and instagram, it seems that people already have a pretty good idea of what's been filling up my time.

THIS. 

My normal abundance of patience is wearing thin as Lena has spent about 85% of the last week crying about being cute, fed, warm and loved. I don't know if she's getting a tooth or just preparing me for being crabby for the rest of my life, but it is getting exhausting listening to the whining. She is usually very content when she's within smelling distance of me. Seeing me isn't enough, she needs the essence of mom.

But when she's happy, it sure is fun. 

I took about 50 pictures today of Lena trying to take Charlotte's cookie, and Charlotte subsequently sharing it and then kissing her on the head. Where she learns this sweet behavior, I do not know, but I will take credit for it.

Now that summer is approaching and it's going to getting hot, I want to get in a good routine to pass the time and enjoy the summer. I've been feeling somewhat burned out and maybe getting into a new season with new activities will get me out my rut. 

What are your favorite warm weather activities with your kids? (or places to cool off when it's too hot?)

Lena Lately

I was starting to feel guilty that the last several posts have nothing to do with Lena!
Lena (rhymes with ballerina, for those of you who can't seem to figure this out) is 7 months old already!
She is a good kid that has an emotional streak. She's at an age where she still isn't doing much, but it won't be long until she'll be on the move.
She sits up and plays with toys, and scoots backwards when she's on her tummy. She really prefers to cuddle given the opportunity though. Charlotte was never much of a cuddler, so I mostly enjoy it, but it can be tough to get things done sometimes.
She is soo smiley, but pretty much refuses to laugh unless it's her little grunt/cough combo. She demands high brow humor so she'll have to move out if she wants a good laugh.

Considering starting a line of infant brassieres. Babisieres. 

Lena has been doing well with sleeping for the most part. She takes 2-3 naps, all of which are quite short, but I'm getting used to it, and as long as I can get a 30 minute nap overlap with Charlotte's nap, I'm a happy camper. She goes to bed anywhere between 6:30-7:15, and doesn't wake to eat until about 6am. I think we're over the worst with the frequent nonsense wakeups, and today she even put her own pacifier in, which is truly a game changer.

goofball

It's funny when I compare Lena with Charlotte at the same age. They are really different, but mostly I think I'm different now too. I was always looking towards the next big (and little) milestone with Charlotte, and now I just keep thinking that Lena is my little baby. It doesn't occur to me that she'll probably be crawling in the next couple of months. With Charlotte, I thought she'd crawl any moment for months. I documented every.single.thing she did. 

Charlotte and Lena are buddies, but it is only a matter of time before Charlotte starts getting really territorial over her toys. She even yanks Lena's toys away and shouts "DARBY NO!" Then she tries to correct herself and say "Lena, no" but by then, she's over whatever toy she wanted and she moves on. 

Courtesy laughing.

Lena loooooves food, just like Charlotte did (does), and that makes meal time a little more enjoyable because she pretty much will eat anything that is offered. I made some broccoli and sweet potato, but so far, that's the only food she wasn't interested in. I don't blame her. It didn't taste that good to me either.

Photo courtesy B Modern , a friend of mine for 15 years!

In their Easter best

We had Lena baptized last week and she was grunting and fussing a majority of the time up in front of church, but I was happy that there were 9 other kids being baptized that day so all the ruckus took any attention of Lena. 

Baptism day. Matching outfits will never get old for me.

We definitely had a few rough months getting used to a baby in the house, but overall, Lena has been so good. She's so happy, cuddly, and easy going. There are many days where I tell myself "no more babies", but as she gets older, I can already tell I might be going back on my word. I should have written more during those "rough months" so I can remind myself why a 3rd little person in this house might be a bad choice. Or an absolutely adorable, squishy, smiley choice. Hmmm....

What's your favorite age for your kiddos? I think it just keeps getting better, but I'm a glass half full kinda girl.

Being Sick's the Worst

I currently have two sick kiddos.
It's been so rare that Charlotte has been sick for more than a couple of days, and now that Lena is in on it, it's double trouble.

I noticed Charlotte had a  teensy cough last week, and then a fever the next day, and it's continued to spiral down. Lena joined in a couple days later, and the coughing absolutely breaks my heart.
I took Lena to the doctor today for her 6 month appointment/sick kid combo visit, and she's got bronchiolitis which may or may not be caused by RSV. This basically means there's nothing to do but wait. Unless it gets worse, then there's breathing treatments, but so far, no need.

Thankfully they're both sleeping decent (a LOT) but all that means for me is that I'm spying on them to make sure they're still breathing.

On top of all this, now I'm getting sick too. It's interesting how my perception of being sick has changed since having kids.
When I was working before I had babies, if I felt the onset of a cold, I'd be like "bummer." but I'd still go to work (unless it was really bad), infect others, work out, stay out late on the weekends, sleep it off, let the cold get real bad because my lack of rest, and then I'd take a day or two to get it together and hopefully I'd be better. I don't too often get sick so this wasn't a big issue.
Now that I have kids, the moment that I get the throat tickle, or the tingly nose sensation, I'm like "OH MY GOSH THIS BETTER NOT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO".
Disclaimer: this is not me being a martyr. I have sought reinforcements a time or two when ill.
But there is no calling in sick. All of the things? They still must get done. Because otherwise there will be lots of diapers dragging on the ground from their weight. That's really the main thing. I'll let the house suffer. We'll get take out for dinner.
The other issue is really hoping that your kids don't get sick too. In this case, it's had the opposite effect. I got sick from the kids, who got sick from church nursery. Which is basically another whole can of worms that I probably shouldn't get into.

Everyone has been so helpful with remedies and tips for taking care of the little ones who can't take a slew of drugs to alleviate their ailments. So far, my favorite has been the apple cider vinegar, cayenne, honey, and ginger concoction that I would never in a billion years give to my kid, and ohmygosh it tasted so so so bad, but it worked on me. But know this: do not take it on an empty stomach. hurl!

Do you have any home remedies you swear by?  Not just for kids or colds, but for anything.
We used to be told that burnt toast would prevent a hangover. It didn't.

Just a Day in the Life

Every Monday around 1:30 I start to question my capability of being a mother. Coming off from a weekend where I had extra help makes Mondays all the more challenging.

Today was extra monday-y because Charlotte was testing me more than usual. I'd ask her to do something for me like "can you pick up the paci that I just dropped?" and she ignores me. So I said "Charlotte. You need to listen to me when I'm talking to you." dead behind the eyes.
"Kay. One more time. Please pick up the paci for mommy. Lena needs it." So she picks it up and THROWS  it.

Lena has been taking short naps (30-45 minutes) and shrieks until she's fed. I just can't imagine she's that hungry after 2 hours, but I always offer her a bottle, and she drinks 3/4 of it, and wants more later. When she's not supposed to be napping, she is a peach. Very smiley and easy going. But holy crap. If you pop in and offer her a pacifier after she wakes, you'd think that she got her finger slammed in a door. She will not calm down until she gets fed. Rocking her and attempting to soothe her just fuels any fire. She eats so much now that she gets bottles, I just can't believe she can be that hungry. So I feed her, and all feelings of me wanting to run away from home go away as soon as she's not wailing.

Today at lunch, Charlotte told me she wanted macaroni and cheese. Well, in so many words. I figured out what she wanted, and she sat in her chair and waited. Well, saying she waited is giving her a lot of credit. She said "keeze!" (cheese) about one million times while getting more angry and impatient. The kitchen was an absolute disaster, I had to change Lena and get her down for a nap, all while ensuring the pot didn't boil over. Both the literal pot and the figurative pot of my brain boiling out of my ears and eyeballs.

After her mac and cheese, Charlotte asked for some yogurt on a "plate".
wrong move by mom #1: I put it in a small bowl.
So when she spazzed, I took it away from her. She stopped crying and I asked if she wanted it back. She said yes.
I gave her a spoon and she pushed it away.

I didn't realize I picked out the evil kind.
(the internet is so great.)

wrong move by mom #2: put yogurt in spoon and attempt to feed her. got some in her protesting pie hole.
She then took her hand and scooped the yogurt out of her mouth. And then ate it off her hand.
What in the crap, sister?

Like I mentioned in a previous post, she really is quite easy, but of course since I put that out into the universe, it gets blown up in my face.
The last few days during nap time I hear her chatting a majority of the time about rockets. Probably talking to her home base on Mars.
Last night I put her to bed and an hour later she's yapping away. I go in and tell her to go to sleep and she says "okay mommy." and I don't hear a peep.
I think skipping sleep is catching up with her and that's why she has a love/hate with me and yogurt. Also, she's 2. She has a love/hate with everything at any given moment.

I've been asked by a couple of people recently if I want to go back to work. I can't help but think they're hinting that maybe I'm no good at this mom-thing and I should let someone else take over.
That's the sneaky postpartum depression remnants messing with my brain, because if I step outside of my brain (not literally possible), I recognize that they're just asking. Maybe suggesting that I get out of the house or something. But I can't help it. So then when I have nutso days where I feel like I'm losing it, I'm worried I'm not cut out for the job.

Winter is especially tough because we spend all of our time inside. The conditions are not ideal for a stroller walk, and to play with Charlotte in the snow while the baby sleeps doesn't give us very much time once all the snow gear is on.

We do have a vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and it will be really nice to get away and have family members that (hopefully) enjoy spending time with the girls so it makes my job a lot easier. I'm more anxious about how Lena will do on the plane this time around vs when she was 10 weeks and sleeping in my arms. I plan on having a lot of bottles ready as that seems to be her favorite thing lately.

Sorry for the lack of any interesting pictures. I do have a cute little video I shot with #vine (yep. I just hashtagged that.)
It's supposed to loop over and over, but I can't get it do it here.

My favorite is when she dances down by Lena. What a cheeser. 

I know I can't possibly be alone when I feel like I'm going nuts staying at home with my kids, but what kind of odd behavior do your children exhibit that try your patience? 

How to Assemble an Exersaucer (Alternatively Titled: I am an Idiot.)

When Charlotte was an infant, we assembled her ExerSaucer Triple Fun Jungle when she was between 4-5 months. With Charlotte being our first child, it was always so fun seeing when she'd be ready for the next piece of gear. Sorta weird, I guess.

I remember it being a huge pain in the ass. Like with all the baby stuff, I would think "how hard can this be? idiots have babies all the time." Every piece of equipment was a giant pain to assemble. Apparently they want it to be "sturdy" and "safe". So roughly 2 years ago, I put the piece of junk together, and I'm fairly certain it took over an hour. I may as well have molded the plastic in the factory with all the other steps I needed to take to build it.

Charlotte played in it for months. It was great having a place to put her away from a hyper dog (she was younger and more rambunctious) and then once she was walking, I could take it apart and it could be yet another toy.

So certainly taking it apart should be easier than assembling it, I assumed. I assumed wrong. After her first birthday, I went to pull it apart and began yanking and tugging every which way, but there was an actual way to do it, and I had to look online to figure it out. And of course, when parts and pieces didn't stay attached, I was all "I'll remember where I put that when we have another kid someday." HAHAHAHA
idiot.

Now that Lena is the same age as Charlotte was when we first set it up, I thought we'd give it a try. Honestly, I didn't even think of it until recently and figured she was still way too small and we'd wait a few months. But she basically lays on the floor or sits in our laps, and I can tell she really wants to sit up on her own. The top portion was still assembled and looked like this:

So all I needed to do was pull it apart at the middle and jam it back on the base. That's all. 

WRONG AGAIN.

I had to take the whole damn thing apart down to bare bones. But I only learned that after each and every step was half assed. I don't know why I don't learn.

Here we are after FORTY FIVE minutes of sweating. 

Each step required me to undo it and do it again a different way. I am so stupid. But finally. After over an hour, I was able to get the thing figured it out. 

And guess who loved it?!

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

The only problem is now we have another giant piece of gear in my family room that is not easily hidden. But I guess that's what a house looks like when you have kids.

I will defeat that butterfly.

I really hope I have it assembled correctly, but I wouldn't be surprised if it buckles under the weight of my 12  pound baby.

Do you need instructions when assembling an item or are you a gifted individual unlike myself?

Getting Fit For Bathing Suit Season

You may think that the title of the post is for me. After all, I've been running, started up Insanity and attempt to get fit on a very occasional basis.
But it's not. It's for Lena. She's on a very strict diet and I finally have her down to just under 12 pounds at 4 months! She'll be looking great for our vacation in 5 weeks for sure!!

I kid.
Lena and Charlotte had a doctor appointment today and little Lena is exactly that. Little. She's in the 10th percentile for height and weight, and as I suspected over the last couple of weeks, she's quite hungry. I've been supplementing with bottles/formula for a couple of weeks, but it's time to just switch her over completely. I always said I wouldn't feel bad about being done with breastfeeding, but there's a little part of me that definitely does. Her ped is not concerned, so we'll see how she grows in the next two months. I have a feeling it will sky rocket with the recommended intro to solids too. Hopefully!

But the doctor's appointment went well overall. I had my husband meet me at the office because I wasn't sure I could handle two kids getting shots. Charlotte was not pleased initially, but I gave her some freeze dried strawberries and she shut her yap real quick.

Their ped seemed surprised that we hadn't been in since July and when I think about it, that's pretty awesome! We've all been so healthy it's easy to take it for granted. And when she asked about Charlotte's coordination, like if she trips or falls more than other kids, I laughed and said she's never actually gotten hurt. It's not like she sits around all day, she jumps and dances, but she's gotten like one bump on her head in 2 years and a scraped knee once. She sleeps a ridiculous amount and I was almost concerned about it, but the doctor was like "ENJOY IT." and told me to keep her in her crib until she's three. Fine with me!

Yah, this is not all that interesting, but it's just what's going on. High five for making it through.
You will be rewarded with this fascinating video of how two sisters can be so different.

Adventures in Babysitting

After we had Charlotte, we pretty much stuck to family for babysitting. We occasionally had a friend or a friend's sibling help us for those quick middle of the day things, but in general, we relied on our family. 

I was just a lot more comfortable with family, I knew they loved her and had her best interests in mind.
At the same time, I didn't want to take advantage of our family or ask that they come out to our house every time so Charlotte could sleep in her own bed.

Now that we have Lena, I've finally decided it's time to find some "outside" help. After asking around, I decided to post a job at the Calvin College job board. Within a week, I had 6 responses! I couldn't believe it. I didn't do any sort of major interview over email, but I basically asked if they were comfortable watching a younger infant because I know that's probably the most challenging part of it.

HOW COULD YOU SAY I'M CHALLENGING?!

Of course, everyone said they were fine with it, but I still waited 6 weeks before I "hired" anyone. Over those 6 weeks, Lena has learned to put herself to sleep in her crib, but has also started waking up more in the last 2 weeks. So now I'm supposed to instruct someone who doesn't know my kid how to take care of her when I barely know how myself.

Last night was the first time we left both girls with a complete stranger. And let me just say, she made it easy to leave. When she arrived, Lena immediately grinned at her, and Charlotte said "hi" and was really excited about a new friend. Earlier in the day we had some friends over, and Charlotte played shy for the first hour, so I was really pleased to see how she warmed up right away. As I went over instructions and gave her a mini tour of the house, I knew it would go well...except I wasn't feeling completely confident with her knowing what to do with Lena. But come on. How could she?

me: Just swaddle her up and put her in her crib to sleep. She might whine at first, but she will go to sleep.
her: What do I use to swaddle her?
me: oh yeah.
So I had to show her the velcro swaddleme thinger and hope she was okay with pinning down her arms. It's not always easy if you don't have a baby and you feel like they "don't like it."

me: okay, so if she wakes up, which she probably will...maybe around 8...? or something? you can give her a bottle. If you want, you can give it to her in her room and see if she goes back to sleep....on second thought, you can just get her up if you want....she'll probably be up for an hour or so...I guess I don't really know...

How could I expect someone to know what to do given that crappy instruct? I told her I'd check in after Charlotte's bedtime and when I did, I just told her to trust her instincts with Lena because that's about all you can do.

We enjoyed our evening out, but of course I was curious how she was doing at home.
Over all, I think it went well. She left Charlotte's door open and she's right next to Lena's room, so when the sitter told me that Charlotte woke up a couple of times I was like "huh??" She hasn't done that in over a year.  But obviously when Lena was shrieking, it woke Charlotte up. And Lena stayed up until 10 or so, which isn't a huge deal. I was reeeeaallly hoping Lena would sleep like she has in the past when her grandparents have watched her. Without fail, she would sleep 8-10 hours after being babysat. Nope. Not this time. Worst night yet. She cried from 2:15-5:30. I really hope we're over this regression hump soon.
I will feel a lot more confident leaving her with someone once she has a solid bedtime, isn't crying it out, and is down for the night (or so).

It's a good thing I'm cute, huh?

Get over yourself. I hope you're a middle child someday. 

We currently have 2 gift cards left to some good date restaurants, so our plan is to have a babysitter when we go so it'll balance out the cost of a night out. 

When I babysat, I made about $3/hour. $5 was like the jackpot. I also walked to school uphill both ways.
man, I'm old.
Anyone know the going rate for babysitters? And can I pay them in Home Depot gift cards or old clothes I'm looking to get rid of?

Santa, Clowns, and other Terrors

Today we took the girls to a special Christmas brunch hosted by the club my in laws are members of. There was a special craft, a clown, and Santa!
Knowing very well how Charlotte reacts to a giant bearded man shouting "HO HO HO", we've been talking him up a lot the last several days. How nice he is, how he brings you presents, and that he's watching your every move via Gus, his scout elf.
She seems to get excited when "See-ta" is on TV, or if she sees a picture of him somewhere, but in real life it's another story.
Santa came marching into the dining room today and Charlotte was literally trembling. She was so, so scared. I'm not one of those moms who thinks it's hilarious when my kid is terrified. I won't shove her in Santa's lap just so I can get a picture of her crying. I don't try to baby her either, but I just don't think it's necessary for her to be horrified when she need not be.

Then that bastard clown came around and she started to freak out again. I just looked at him, shook my head, and mouthed "noooo." and off he went. You could hear children crying throughout the dining room as Santa and DeeJay the Clown made their rounds. It really was quite comical when you think of it, but it's no fun when your kid is finally eating a plate full of food for the first time in days, and then she's so scared she won't swallow her broccoli. I kept smelling her butt to see if she pooped, but it was just her disgusting chewed broccoli mixed with tears and snot breath. Such a magical day.

But really, in all honesty, it was a lot of fun. I took Charlotte into the room where Santa was greeting kids, and we just watched for a while. She saw that he was giving them gifts (the members gave ideas for the kids so they all got a gift picked out especially for them), and once the line was down, we walked up together and talked to him. She even said hi.

so, I hear you have presents.

Lena didn't cry about sleep ALL day. Even at bedtime. Santa is magic.

Today Charlotte learned that if a scary man gives you a present, you no longer need to be scared. terrible message.

We get dressed up for a family picture and this is the best one we get. 

This evening before Charlotte went to bed we talked about her day, and she recalled that Santa gave her a gift (Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck bath squirt toys) and I realized I should probably teach her about the real meaning of Christmas, since we keep missing church and whatnot. We sang a few Christmas songs, and I taught her the motions to Away in a Manger. I know it sounds really corny, but it was a really sweet ending to the day. Especially since she had just thrown a tantrum of epic proportions about changing into her pajamas. 

Did you believe in Santa growing up, or when did you find out it was a big fat giant hoax?