Toddler Birthdays and Losing My Ever Loving Mind

You know that feeling when you wake up and you're all "I have absolutely no idea what day it could even be." Like it feels like it's a new day of the week that's never even been invented. A brand new unknown day of the week that has no assignment. No work, no church, no school, no sleeping in. Just strange and confusing.
That was this morning.
My husband leaned over and gave me a smooch goodbye while I was still sleeping this morning. I never even woke with his alarm. I was all "Where are you going?!" Like accusing him of having plans on a day that doesn't even exist.
Then I snapped back into reality and realized it was Monday, Lena's 2nd birthday.

Under most circumstances, I would not forget it was my child's birthday. But then again I've only been doing this mom thing for not even 4 years. I have plenty of years ahead to forget about birthdays. But so far, I haven't forgotten any. In fact, I usually have a good plan as to how we'll celebrate.  Today was different. We've had a crazy 5 days with Lena getting super sick, Charlotte had a really high fever and was stumbling around like a drunk and I almost brought her in. Between dealing with clingy, sad, pissed off little kids and cleaning up vomit, losing sleep and canceling Lena's birthday party because of hand, foot, and mouth disease, my brain has been in a bit of a fog. Maybe I also have the virus and have lesions on my brain.

This never happens

They give me so much love

This REALLY never happens

Once we got the day started, it was fairly normal but out of our normal routine since I couldn't take the girls to the gym KidZone. I made the traditional birthday pancake and it was actually well received despite their normal attitude when I present them with a delicious meal. Maybe I should serve more meals with whipped cream from a can.

After doing awesome mom stuff like changing gross diapers, I decided it was time to call the doctor about some interesting #2s Lena's been having since she was sick. Her dukes are straight up black. I know that that can mean blood, but I wanted to wait it out to see if it cleared up. It didn't. So I called and they wanted to get her in asap. I stayed calm, but was still pretty concerned about the outcome - it could be so many different things.  It tested positive for blood and the doctor said it's not typical, but it could be that she has the hand, foot and mouth lesions down the bottom of her throat. It's common to have the sores inside the throat, but usually not down into the upper GI. He did not seem overly concerned, given that Lena was in good spirits and eating and drinking normally. We just need to give it more time at this point. What a fun way to spend her birthday!

Then we met up with my husband for a birthday lunch and also to spread germs to as many strangers as possible. He was on a conference call and ended up being almost 30 minutes late and my debit card was declined because I apparently I am scum. So I waited with two cranky kids at Culvers with no food because I didn't have the funds to pay for it. We had a seat while we waited and they brought out a huge box of crayons and some coloring pages for the girls. So nice!!
Once Marcus arrived and was ready to pay, they brought our food out and said "don't worry about it. It's all taken care of." I almost lost it blubbering like a fool, but I kept it to a general "eyes misty with gratitude." It had just been such a crazy morning, I was really taken aback at their kindness.

The main reason we chose Culvers is because CUSTARD.  What better birthday treat than frozen custard with sprinkles!

Focusing on what's important here.

I got the kids home and they both took killer naps, I even snuck one in too because I'm ultra productive. 

Since it's Monday, Charlotte now has ballet in the evenings. I knew ballet began at 6:00. So I got Charlotte dressed, fixed her ponytail and loaded both her and Lena up. We arrived with a few minutes to spare so I responded to some texts in the parking lot. Once we got to the classroom, I was surprised to see all the little kids prancing about. I asked another parent if it indeed began at 6. She confirmed but then looked at me quizzically and added "it's 6:25 right now."
And in that moment, I had that very same feeling I had upon waking this morning. This strange time vortex where I was left bewildered and like I was only one left out of this new way of counting days and time. Everyone else seems to know what's going on but somehow I missed the memo of how time works. My forehead literally hurts from having a confused look about where those 25 minutes before ballet went. These are serious problems, people.

Related: I'm also confused about how my iPhone is autocorrecting "yes" to "Myra." It makes me look even crazier via text. 

I'm looking forward to everyone being healthy and me feeling much less insane. Is this even a possibility?