to sum up a saturday...

Last night, we went out with friends for dinner and had Grandpa and Grandma R watch Charlotte for the evening. I'm still getting used the whole babysitter thing, but it went swimmingly and she even slept alright...until about 3:30. Then it was wide, wide, wide awake time. Smiley and awake. So cute. And tiring.

Marcus was a dear and kept C asleep for a while so I could sleep in until about 9. But we just chilled all day. Love it.

Came upstairs and Darby got comfortable with the boppy. No joke. She did this herself.

The "Family Bed" :)

My little sweetie. Before she got crabby for the day.

Life is good. But now I spend my evening folding laundry. Something that several months ago would have been the biggest drag ever. But this is what we asked for, right?

Ikea tomorrow. Thinking it's time to actually decorate and make my bedroom a room to enjoy.

oops!

Sorry Blog!
I've sort of neglected you.

I feel like there is both a lot and nothing to say. I could go on and on about Charlotte and her development, but then again, does anyone really care?

We're still tired over here. I've got it kind of figured out that if Charlotte doesn't get good sleep during the day, she gets MISERABLE sleep at night, therefore, I get miserable sleep at night.

It would seem like if she had a busy, interactive, stimulating day, she'd sleep like a champ. However, this is not the case. It's sort of like when you have a lot going on, or if you exercise too late in the evening, you might feel really tired, but your mind can't turn off...? Either way, she gets stimulated very easily and then doesn't sleep. seriously. just doesn't sleep until after 6 am. wide awake. fussy. sleeps maybe 20 minutes at a time. that is a long ass night, my friends.

BUT, I have it a little figured out that if she has a mellow day, even with an outing, she does so well at night. mmmm...mommy loves sleepy baby.

Anyway...I'll stop talking about sleep.

....

.......

apparently i have nothing else to speak of.

Oh. I go back to work in about 5 weeks. I visited today and figured out my schedule, and had a few people ask if I was ready to get back at it. The answer to that is "Not really." I do know it will be good to have some time out of the house, talk with adults, and get a pay check. I'm just not quite ready yet. She's still a tiny baby! She needs me a LOT. And that's okay with me. I love her.

I'm wondering if I'll like myself a little more when I start working again. Maybe it sounds bad or weird or whatever, but really? I'm a drag. I'm pretty sure my husband thinks so too. I am no longer interesting, and when I do have something to say that I feel is interesting, I'm like the girl who cried "yawn." because no one listens. I've talked about too many mundane things that there's no way I could have anything interesting to say.

I'm not depressed or anything, I feel pretty happy on a daily basis, but I'm still getting used to this big adjustment. I do know I'm more fun now than I was when I was pregnant, but I'm just so different than I used to be. None of the people we hang out with on a regular basis have kids yet, so it's hard to have anything to talk about things that both parties are interested in.

Speaking of not being pregnant anymore, holy cow! I love it. I was either sick or sore...the entire pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing and wonderful time, but seriously, it is not easy.

Okay. Time to feed the boss.
I'll attempt to post more frequently...and on more interesting topics, perhaps? Probably not.

An email addressed to my old friend, Sleep

Dear Sleep,
OMG! I miss you, where have you been? Things here without you have been okay. Obviously nights are the most difficult. I'm sort of getting used to you not being around, but love it when you visit.
Let me just say, we used to be so close. Spending hours together on Saturday mornings, chillin on Sunday afternoons...and when I got pregnant you made yourself very available in those first 12 weeks. You would taunt me at work until I finally caved and hung out with you in my car at lunch.
I'm a little fuzzy on where things went wrong.
I mean, we've had so many good years, and then what? I gained too much weight for you to want to come around? Those last few weeks of my pregnancy were really hard without you. I needed you more than ever and you bailed on me. WTF, Sleep?!
I guess we might not have as much in common as we used to, especially now that the baby is here. Yes, I know she's demanding, but I still want to hang out with you!
Your cousin Exhaustion just isn't as comforting as you. Frankly, he's exhausting. He's a bad influence. No one wants to be around me after I spend too much time with him. I'm bitchy and whiny and on the verge of tears. You, Sleep, you make me a better person. A better Emily.

Don't worry about scheduling something, just stop by! I usually have an hour or two available during the day, and I'd love a 5 hour stretch during the night. I know it'll be SO good to reconnect.
I miss you.
Yours Truly,
Emily

P.S. Do you have Eye Cream's email address? I've been wanting to get in touch with her since you've stopped coming around.

2011 so far...

Well obviously it's been quite a year so far. I know, we're only a month in.
But here's the update!

Life with Charlotte is going well. It's really such a huge change having this new little person control your life. The first two weeks were definitely tough. My mind was in a fog, I was completely consumed by her. She demanded every ounce of energy and recovering from her birth didn't leave much get up and go. Hormones were out of control and I would cry at least twice every day. (It feels so much better to already have a better grasp on my emotions!)
I've made a choice to not concern myself with the "rules". I'm using my instincts and it seems to be working out. I'm totally up for suggestions, but as of now, I'm listening to my gut.

Charlotte will be a month tomorrow, and it's already bittersweet. I can't wait for her to get a little older and smile and laugh, but I'll never have this time back with her. I love how she snuggles and calms down when I sing, I can't believe I'm a MOM!

Right now she likes to eat about every 2 hours during the day, and we've been fortunate to have a handful of nights where she goes 3-3.5 hours between feedings. Even more fortunate when she goes right back to sleep after eating! The one downside is that she's been quite fussy while she's awake and only likes to be held. She tolerates her swing in small doses.

I've recovered from my c section much quicker than I thought I would, but in the time frame my dr. told me I would. I guess he'd know! The first week was so hard, doing it all on my own with Marcus back at work, but it's amazing how your body can heal from a pretty big surgery in a small amount of time. I'm really looking forward to fitting into more of my pre-pregnancy clothes, but can't work out until I get the dr. OK. I should also remind myself that it's been a month and not to have unrealistic expectations. I kept shrinking for the first 3 weeks and now it's stopped...so apparently this is where I need to start working for results. Sounds stupid.

We also found out in the last few weeks that the bumps that my doggie had removed were cancer. With my hormones at unreasonable levels, this was very hard news to take. We've done some research and talked with the vet again today and learned that we should still have several good years with her as long as the bumps are caught early and are removed. Which is exactly what had to be done today with another one that was discovered. Hopefully that's the end of them...She's been through so much in her (not even!) 3 years. I really hope we get to see Charlotte grow up with this wonderful dog. So tonight we have a sleepy drugged up hound...but this time around should be easier as we don't need to use the cone of shame and put boxer briefs on her.
People loved to tell me how our dog would be put on the back burner or she'd be a second class citizen after the baby arrives, but that's not even close to true. We still love her just the same and she does so well with the baby.

Anyway...I'm looking forward to some more light hearted blog posts in the future once I get a little more of my brain back and I can be sarcastic again. But my, oh my, has life changed.