Ranty Pants

I figure I'm due for a rant.
The following contains a story about poop, and blood. some related, some not.

Couple things: Poor Lena's guts aren't loving the transition to formula. It's been sort of hard on her tummy and she can't poop. Marcus called me while I was at the gym last night and I could hear her screaming in the background. He said it was like watching a birth. I didn't ask too many details and I assume he thought that only from the expression on her face.
At her last doctor's visit, it was discussed that she should start solids to possibly help her pack on the pounds. I know everyone has their own opinion on this, but I'm going to go with what my girls' doctor says. We talked about rice, oatmeal and barley cereal and decided that oatmeal will be the best option for her, given her poop history.
It's been about 10 days since we've started straight up formula and some oatmeal she's totally backed up. I called the doctor today to get some pointers, and the person I spoke with gave me some really excellent advice!!!!!!!
I explained to her that she was in extreme discomfort so I went out and got her a glycerin suppository. The phone med tech said they only recommend prune juice, and it should work in 24-48 hours. Well, I'm sorry I broke your rule, but she had relief within 10 minutes and slept all night.
So then I asked if the oatmeal could be part of the problem and she said definitely and asked if I've tried rice cereal. I told her that I thought that was more binding and it's not a good option for her, and she said "you're probably right" and then said I might want to try barley. "It's a different type of rice, it's called barley."
Oh you mean it's not actually rice at all, and that it's barley? got it. I'm glad I'm learning so much from you right now.
I also asked about giving her water. I never thought thought water was recommended for young babies, but have read that it's a treatment. She said never give her water, but that sugar water is okay. I seriously don't trust anything this woman has told me.

The other thing: I had to have a health screening today for life insurance. Someone was going to come to my house and perform this screening and it'd take 25 minutes. She showed up about 30 minutes early, but it really wasn't a big deal. She didn't tell me her name and I thought it was sort of weird, especially when I introduced myself. I feel like if you're going to show up at someone's house and make them pee in a cup, you should at least tell them your name. Common courtesy. You want to collect a specimen? just tell me your name, that's all it takes. She asked some question which prompted me to answer "well, I had a baby 4 months ago" (don't remember the question) and she responded with "aw, babies are cute." My guess is that she must not have children because that's a really weird response.
She then had to take a few blood samples. I've never had trouble with blood draws before, and while they aren't pleasant, it's usually not a big deal for me. She wrapped the tourniquet around my arm and pinched the ever loving shit out of it. I looked at my arm and my skin was all folded and squashed and it left a purple spot. She's all "oh my, you have tiny veins!" and I've never heard that before, but whatever. She said it at least 4 times. "tiny." So she pokes me and it absolutely killed. I've never had it hurt like that before! But whatever, the worst is over, right? Nope. No blood. Until she took the needle out, then it was spurting all over the place. So she tried the other arm (same pinchy tourniquet) and missed again because it was "wiggly". Back to the first arm, nothing. I asked her if she felt a pulse earlier, she was not amused.
Back to the second arm, poke #4. Nada. No blood. I apologized (WHY?) and she had to keep finding more band aids, smaller needles, different vials, more gauze, and then she tried my hands, where they "wiggled" out of the way too. I told her this has never happened before, and maybe my insurance would accept labs from the last 6 months? I was hinting to her that enough was enough. I told her that we'd have a real problem if I couldn't pee in a cup and I'm not even real. Still not amused.
I'm pretty convinced I just a had a weirdo come to my house who doesn't know anything about performing those tasks that just wanted my blood and pee. I don't know her name and then she was off into the blizzard.

What a weird morning.

have you ever received less than professional medical care?
I don't trust phone staff ever since the one time I was told over the phone that she thinks I had a miscarriage, and no I don't need to see a doctor about it.