I Should Just Stay Home

After 6 nights of false labor and 5 days of exhaustion from it, I decided (after my dr. strongly suggested it) it would be best to stay home labor day weekend. I was really looking forward to heading up north for a few days and enjoying the completely awesomeness that is northern Michigan.

I went back and forth regretting it, but know it was the best decision, especially after last night, having some whopper "real" (?) (I don't even know what reality is anymore) contractions for about 40 minutes - and then they just stopped. tricky bastards.

Earlier in the day, I went to get a much needed pedicure. The polish was all chipped and my feet looked disgusting because I'm too lazy to put on shoes when I walk around outside. And since I can't reach them comfortably, I pay other people to do the dirty work.

I tried out a new nail salon that advertises like crazy on the radio, and when I walked in, it seemed like a great choice. It was really busy, but I only needed to wait about 5 minutes. The girl who did my nails seemed really sweet until she started sharing some really, really odd things.
Among those odd things were these little pearls:
"I mean sometimes...there's blood on the toilet paper."
"I get really nervous during this part!!!"
"There was literally throw up in her mouth!"
"Is your family crazy like mine?"
"What do you do for all of your stretch marks?" (I didn't even say I had any. She assumed because I'm ginormously pregnant.) (I chose not to answer with my original "kick nail techs in the face")

Everything else about it was really great. I just have thismuch patience right now, so that is why I should just stay home.

Today we took Darby to the dog park since it's been a while, and it's obviously good for her to get some zoomies out. She's such a snob. She has no interest in playing with other dogs, unless it's another ridgeback, and since there aren't very many around, she just doesn't play. She runs around and looks for squirrels outside the fence. Charlotte and I waited on the outside and just watched, since children under 10 aren't allowed on the inside. She is just as happy woofing and mooing at the dogs on the outside as she would be on the inside. There was one little dog that kept humping every other dog. (I didn't take a picture, but totally should have in retrospect) and I must have made some sort of disapproving click to myself because a woman sitting on a nearby bench looked at me and said "oh that one is mine." I said, "the humpy one?" And she didn't really answer, but said "they like to play rough." But then, she continued to ignore her horny dog and just stare at Charlotte and me. I mean, Charlotte was being adorable trying out all of her animal sounds and saying hiiii to the dogs as they ran by, but it was pretty weird. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she stares rudely at people since she allows her dog to strip other dogs of their innocence.

So now I feel like I owe Charlotte a trip to the park down the street since she was clearly ticked off that we brought Darby all the way down town to "play" and she just had to stand and watch.

She didn't even play with the other dogs.

You like her more than me, don't you? Her breath smells like a dirty aquarium.

Do you easily lose patience with the general public, or are you a real sweetheart that I'd like to punch?