Senseless

This might sound weird.

Earlier this week after I climbed into bed, I felt like something was off. I laid there doing my mental checks: doors locked, lights off, Darby's downstairs (for now), kids are sleeping (for now). It was funny that I was able to figure it out, but what it was is that I've had no sense of smell for days. This cold has stayed for the long haul right in my face.
 I felt off because there's actually a lot your nose can tell you. Are my scentsy warmers still on? Does the baby need a clean diaper?
Do I personally smell like I could use a shower?

What I realized is that I miss the smell of Lena. Sure, it's likely that she smells like spit up and poop, but I guess I'll never know. While it certainly isn't that big of a deal that I haven't been able to smell (or taste!!) in 7 days, it's actually really starting to take it's toll. Dramatic? Probably. But it's not like you expected anything different from me. I love to snuggle that little baby and it's just not right that I can't enjoy that nice stinky baby smell.
Last night Lena was up a BUNCH (her routine was off, and she went to bed about an hour later than normal) and then with her lingering cough causing her to occasionally barf, I got up each time to check on her. She'd take her pacifier and go to sleep for another hour. But she was up every 90 minutes between 12-6. At 6, I fed her and changed her diaper, and she was totally sleeping in her own dukie for probably most of the night. If I could have smelled it, I would have changed her, say...6 hours before that.
As much as I don't want to smell that, It'd sure my my job a lot easier.

This whole loss of taste in addition to smell is pretty crappy too. I mean, what is food WITHOUT TASTE?!
Sustenance? Bah. I eat food 'cuz it's good, y'all. I've been trying to use it as an excuse to eat healthier because it's not like I can even tell what I'm eating, but I thought maybe there were secret healing properties in pizza and breadsticks. And since I couldn't taste after my first serving, I thought, maybe I just need LOTS more and then I'll be able to taste. It didn't work. Alcohol is also not holding the key to my health.

7 days without taste. I've added hot sauce, taken apple cider vinegar (made me barf. still couldn't taste), drank hot tea with lemon and honey, taken a bite of a lime. It doesn't matter. I have dead taste buds.

If you know what I can do to get my taste and smell back, please help. I'm afraid I've been ruined.
(bonus points if you said that like Stewie)

Being Sick's the Worst

I currently have two sick kiddos.
It's been so rare that Charlotte has been sick for more than a couple of days, and now that Lena is in on it, it's double trouble.

I noticed Charlotte had a  teensy cough last week, and then a fever the next day, and it's continued to spiral down. Lena joined in a couple days later, and the coughing absolutely breaks my heart.
I took Lena to the doctor today for her 6 month appointment/sick kid combo visit, and she's got bronchiolitis which may or may not be caused by RSV. This basically means there's nothing to do but wait. Unless it gets worse, then there's breathing treatments, but so far, no need.

Thankfully they're both sleeping decent (a LOT) but all that means for me is that I'm spying on them to make sure they're still breathing.

On top of all this, now I'm getting sick too. It's interesting how my perception of being sick has changed since having kids.
When I was working before I had babies, if I felt the onset of a cold, I'd be like "bummer." but I'd still go to work (unless it was really bad), infect others, work out, stay out late on the weekends, sleep it off, let the cold get real bad because my lack of rest, and then I'd take a day or two to get it together and hopefully I'd be better. I don't too often get sick so this wasn't a big issue.
Now that I have kids, the moment that I get the throat tickle, or the tingly nose sensation, I'm like "OH MY GOSH THIS BETTER NOT BE HAPPENING NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO".
Disclaimer: this is not me being a martyr. I have sought reinforcements a time or two when ill.
But there is no calling in sick. All of the things? They still must get done. Because otherwise there will be lots of diapers dragging on the ground from their weight. That's really the main thing. I'll let the house suffer. We'll get take out for dinner.
The other issue is really hoping that your kids don't get sick too. In this case, it's had the opposite effect. I got sick from the kids, who got sick from church nursery. Which is basically another whole can of worms that I probably shouldn't get into.

Everyone has been so helpful with remedies and tips for taking care of the little ones who can't take a slew of drugs to alleviate their ailments. So far, my favorite has been the apple cider vinegar, cayenne, honey, and ginger concoction that I would never in a billion years give to my kid, and ohmygosh it tasted so so so bad, but it worked on me. But know this: do not take it on an empty stomach. hurl!

Do you have any home remedies you swear by?  Not just for kids or colds, but for anything.
We used to be told that burnt toast would prevent a hangover. It didn't.

Attempts at Getting Fit

After seeing pictures from our family vacation, I realized it was high time I lose those last few(ish) pounds of baby weight. Going to the gym and running 2 slow miles a few times a week just wasn't cutting it.
So I talked with a few friends that I used to work out with back before I had kids and now am back in the game.

and omg.
I'm sore.

I don't know if this group class has a name for what we're doing, but it's basically intervals of evil.
And while I'm quite out of shape, I remembered how to do a few of the moves and I didn't die.

I did almost do this a couple times though.

Today, however, was my second time and I almost cried. Not because of pain or being a big wuss, but because I kept telling myself that if I can have a baby, I can do these reverse curls. But the problem is, I can't because I had a baby. I had NO idea that my abs were completely gone. And the cycle continues.

Today the trainer asked me If I've used an ab roller before and as I picked it up so I could be all "uh yeah. fer sher" the whole thing fell apart and rolled across the floor. And then when I actually went to use the stupid thing, I thought I must have been doing it wrong because it had never been that hard for me in my entire life.
And she actually said "it's okay. you just had a baby." 1) I would never expect a hard ass type trainer to ever have sympathy for someone who had a baby. I mean, people have babies all the time and need to get back into shape. 2) when does the just run out?

I think the first 3 months everyone says "oh don't worry, you just had a baby!" but anytime after that, no one cares anymore. You're just fat after that. and tired.
I think my just ran out, but if that trainer wants to give me a teensy break on reverse curls, I'll let her.

I'd probably learn to work out if someone put peanut butter or cheese by the weight machines too.

I'm signed up for the rest of the month and my plan is to continue. It's tough because the times are less than ideal and need to arrange for childcare each time, but it's worth it to me. I need the accountability because otherwise I work out for 5 minutes and say "well, that had to do something." 

what's the most sore you've been from a workout?

Once I pulled my groin bear crawling while pushing a weight across the floor and people thought I was in a serious car accident the next few days.

Family Vacation to Manasota Key

Whew!
We made it home this weekend after a fantastic family vacation.
It feels like forever ago that we left and were dealing with the BS of flight delays, missing connections, and early morning takeoff.
But once we arrived we were in full on vacation mode. We met my in laws at an amazing beach house in southern Florida and though it can be tough vacationing with little ones, we had lots of help and Charlotte had a built in playmate with her same-age cousin.

She's such a copycat, and he's such a leader. They played hard every day. 

The weather was mostly great, with 3 out of our 5 days being next to perfect. There was a red tide advisory and it produced a pretty annoying cough. I had heard of it before but wasn't familiar with what it actually was.

A little scared of the water, but Charlotte coaxed him in. 

We spent the nice days on the beach just steps out of the door. The beach along the water was loaded with shells and sharks teeth, but we had a nice sandy spot where a new deck was going to be built. So the kids had a spot to play without getting washed away into the sea.

Excited about just about everything

On the less nice days, we lounged around just like we would at home, but it was better because we weren't at home. And I would eat lots of things like dip, and drink things like lime-a-ritas.

We captured one of Lena's finer moments.

My little beach baby

Lena did so, so well the first few nights. Slept completely through the night 12-13 hours. It was amazing. I of course couldn't sleep because I was obsessively checking on her. Then she went back to normal, and then worse than normal, which is really hard when you have a screaming-in-their-sleep baby sharing a room with you. And you can't take her out of the room because there's 10 other people sleeping somewhere. So in that respect, it was good to get back home and into our own spaces. 

Coming back home from a busy trip with lots of people has been tough on the girls (and ME.) It's been a rough week to say the least. I don't know if they're adjusting, sick, being babies and toddlers, or what. But yesterday there wasn't a moment except for the 30 minute nap overlap that at least one kid wasn't crying. 

By the time we got home I felt like I didn't need a vacation in a while, and we live to plan our next trip. But after all this needless whining and protesting, I'm ready to leave again. alone.

But overall, a beach vacation was totally manageable with the two kiddos and I'd definitely do it again. Just not for a little while. :)

Where is the best beach you've ever visited? 

Stop Thinking You're the Only One

I've talked with people recently who admit to feeling overwhelmed by housework, read about moms who feel like they're letting themselves or their family down if they don't keep a neat home. I am definitely in the same boat 99.9% of the time.
I follow a couple of blogs with tips on staying organized, mostly so I can bitch about how type A they are and what a miserable life that must be. And occasionally I'm like "oh I should go alphabetize my socks right now too!" But most of the time I get super jealous and feel bad about myself and what a failure I must be.
I have my moments where I am ambitious and I get shit done. But even on a Saturday when I have extra help at home, it still takes a really long time to do what takes others 10 minutes.

My whole point here is if you feel like you can't stay on top of it, you're not alone.
So here. You can start feeling better now:

Mud room. Absolutely no organization to it. Drives me nuts.  Makes me anxious to share this.

Family room after moving all the random stuff onto the coffee table (instead of just putting it away) to clean the carpets.

At least the carpet is clean.

The things tossed on the stairs "so I can bring them up next time I go upstairs." hahahahahaha

Oh yeah. Don't we have a playroom down here? yup. It's bulimic. 

Maybe If I just move everything to the bottom it won't look as messy.

If you're looking for something, it's likely it's stuck on the fridge.

Ugh. the kitchen table. We eat our meals here. HOW? By moving that pile someplace else, that's how.

And it turns out I'm a mess too. I have spit up all over this shirt. Notice the finger prints on that mirror.
DEAL WITH IT.

Just because I'm sharing these things doesn't mean I don't care about the mess. I do, and I clean it up when I feel like I can. But you know what? My girls are fed. 3, sometimes 4 times a day. There's bowls, plates, bottles and sippy cups laying around to prove it. There are toys strewn about because mommy told you to just go play with your toys already, we spend time playing and reading together. 

With people posting, sharing, pinning, instagramming everything these days, it can be easy to feel like you don't measure up to it all. 

But dude. This is my house on a normal day. Not a tornado day, not the day of cleaning, just a normal day. Sorry if you're disappointed.

No I'm not.

I just hope I made you feel a *teensy* bit better about not always being on top of it all.

Do you think that social media has an impact about how you feel about yourself, your home, or your possessions? 

I do. But then I just read the confessions on Scary Mommy and decide I'm normal. 

Just a Day in the Life

Every Monday around 1:30 I start to question my capability of being a mother. Coming off from a weekend where I had extra help makes Mondays all the more challenging.

Today was extra monday-y because Charlotte was testing me more than usual. I'd ask her to do something for me like "can you pick up the paci that I just dropped?" and she ignores me. So I said "Charlotte. You need to listen to me when I'm talking to you." dead behind the eyes.
"Kay. One more time. Please pick up the paci for mommy. Lena needs it." So she picks it up and THROWS  it.

Lena has been taking short naps (30-45 minutes) and shrieks until she's fed. I just can't imagine she's that hungry after 2 hours, but I always offer her a bottle, and she drinks 3/4 of it, and wants more later. When she's not supposed to be napping, she is a peach. Very smiley and easy going. But holy crap. If you pop in and offer her a pacifier after she wakes, you'd think that she got her finger slammed in a door. She will not calm down until she gets fed. Rocking her and attempting to soothe her just fuels any fire. She eats so much now that she gets bottles, I just can't believe she can be that hungry. So I feed her, and all feelings of me wanting to run away from home go away as soon as she's not wailing.

Today at lunch, Charlotte told me she wanted macaroni and cheese. Well, in so many words. I figured out what she wanted, and she sat in her chair and waited. Well, saying she waited is giving her a lot of credit. She said "keeze!" (cheese) about one million times while getting more angry and impatient. The kitchen was an absolute disaster, I had to change Lena and get her down for a nap, all while ensuring the pot didn't boil over. Both the literal pot and the figurative pot of my brain boiling out of my ears and eyeballs.

After her mac and cheese, Charlotte asked for some yogurt on a "plate".
wrong move by mom #1: I put it in a small bowl.
So when she spazzed, I took it away from her. She stopped crying and I asked if she wanted it back. She said yes.
I gave her a spoon and she pushed it away.

I didn't realize I picked out the evil kind.
(the internet is so great.)

wrong move by mom #2: put yogurt in spoon and attempt to feed her. got some in her protesting pie hole.
She then took her hand and scooped the yogurt out of her mouth. And then ate it off her hand.
What in the crap, sister?

Like I mentioned in a previous post, she really is quite easy, but of course since I put that out into the universe, it gets blown up in my face.
The last few days during nap time I hear her chatting a majority of the time about rockets. Probably talking to her home base on Mars.
Last night I put her to bed and an hour later she's yapping away. I go in and tell her to go to sleep and she says "okay mommy." and I don't hear a peep.
I think skipping sleep is catching up with her and that's why she has a love/hate with me and yogurt. Also, she's 2. She has a love/hate with everything at any given moment.

I've been asked by a couple of people recently if I want to go back to work. I can't help but think they're hinting that maybe I'm no good at this mom-thing and I should let someone else take over.
That's the sneaky postpartum depression remnants messing with my brain, because if I step outside of my brain (not literally possible), I recognize that they're just asking. Maybe suggesting that I get out of the house or something. But I can't help it. So then when I have nutso days where I feel like I'm losing it, I'm worried I'm not cut out for the job.

Winter is especially tough because we spend all of our time inside. The conditions are not ideal for a stroller walk, and to play with Charlotte in the snow while the baby sleeps doesn't give us very much time once all the snow gear is on.

We do have a vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and it will be really nice to get away and have family members that (hopefully) enjoy spending time with the girls so it makes my job a lot easier. I'm more anxious about how Lena will do on the plane this time around vs when she was 10 weeks and sleeping in my arms. I plan on having a lot of bottles ready as that seems to be her favorite thing lately.

Sorry for the lack of any interesting pictures. I do have a cute little video I shot with #vine (yep. I just hashtagged that.)
It's supposed to loop over and over, but I can't get it do it here.

My favorite is when she dances down by Lena. What a cheeser. 

I know I can't possibly be alone when I feel like I'm going nuts staying at home with my kids, but what kind of odd behavior do your children exhibit that try your patience? 

How to Assemble an Exersaucer (Alternatively Titled: I am an Idiot.)

When Charlotte was an infant, we assembled her ExerSaucer Triple Fun Jungle when she was between 4-5 months. With Charlotte being our first child, it was always so fun seeing when she'd be ready for the next piece of gear. Sorta weird, I guess.

I remember it being a huge pain in the ass. Like with all the baby stuff, I would think "how hard can this be? idiots have babies all the time." Every piece of equipment was a giant pain to assemble. Apparently they want it to be "sturdy" and "safe". So roughly 2 years ago, I put the piece of junk together, and I'm fairly certain it took over an hour. I may as well have molded the plastic in the factory with all the other steps I needed to take to build it.

Charlotte played in it for months. It was great having a place to put her away from a hyper dog (she was younger and more rambunctious) and then once she was walking, I could take it apart and it could be yet another toy.

So certainly taking it apart should be easier than assembling it, I assumed. I assumed wrong. After her first birthday, I went to pull it apart and began yanking and tugging every which way, but there was an actual way to do it, and I had to look online to figure it out. And of course, when parts and pieces didn't stay attached, I was all "I'll remember where I put that when we have another kid someday." HAHAHAHA
idiot.

Now that Lena is the same age as Charlotte was when we first set it up, I thought we'd give it a try. Honestly, I didn't even think of it until recently and figured she was still way too small and we'd wait a few months. But she basically lays on the floor or sits in our laps, and I can tell she really wants to sit up on her own. The top portion was still assembled and looked like this:

So all I needed to do was pull it apart at the middle and jam it back on the base. That's all. 

WRONG AGAIN.

I had to take the whole damn thing apart down to bare bones. But I only learned that after each and every step was half assed. I don't know why I don't learn.

Here we are after FORTY FIVE minutes of sweating. 

Each step required me to undo it and do it again a different way. I am so stupid. But finally. After over an hour, I was able to get the thing figured it out. 

And guess who loved it?!

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

The only problem is now we have another giant piece of gear in my family room that is not easily hidden. But I guess that's what a house looks like when you have kids.

I will defeat that butterfly.

I really hope I have it assembled correctly, but I wouldn't be surprised if it buckles under the weight of my 12  pound baby.

Do you need instructions when assembling an item or are you a gifted individual unlike myself?