What Am I Doing Wrong?

Over the last few weeks, Lena has been more unpredictable than a newborn. At 9 months, I really thought we would have this kid pegged. After all, from what I can remember, Charlotte had gotten much easier around 8 months. She started crawling, had teeth, slept great, very predictable.

Why wouldn't my next child be identical to my first? Don't people always talk about how every kid is the same? Wait...I think I've got that wrong.

We had a really great thing going. She'd wake at 7, nap around 9 & 1, bedtime between 6:30-7. She might be crabby every now and again, but whatever.

Me? Crabby? Noooo.

Then she suddenly started sleeping in, sometimes until about 8, and then quietly playing plotting to ruin my life until she called for me. I enjoyed the quiet in the morning, since Charlotte is a late sleeper too. Until I realized it meant her nap would be an hour later than normal, and then the afternoon would be all screwy too and omg I'm suddenly losing all control and I won't ever know what she wants when she wants it.

She thinks I'm sleeping, but I am just one step closer to crushing her spirit.

We've gotten to a point where if she's happy, I can't make eye contact with her. On any given day, you might see me peek around a corner and dart back if I feel she looked in my direction. I've even stood as still as possible with my back against the wall, waiting for her to bring her attention back to her toy. If she is distracted, I quietly sneak past her and fold laundry in another room.

Nap and bed time have gone to complete crap. She was a great self soother at about 4-5 months. I'd plop her down in her bed and say peace out, sister. Now she's been known to cry for up to 2 hours. I don't just leave her in there to cry, I try all sorts of things, but I really don't want to create bad habits either. ("bad" being things I won't feel like doing when she's a year old.) 

Also, when she wakes, a pacifier no longer does the trick. She'll cry for several minutes after you pop it back in. 

She's not crawling, standing or pulling herself up yet. She has no signs of teeth. I will blame her sleep disturbances on those things. Once she figures out how to be a little more mobile, she'll be more tuckered out, less fussy during the day, and hopefully it will solve all of our problems. 

I've got her where I want her. She's like putty in my pudgy hands.

She had her 9 month doctor appointment this week and she looks healthy, despite her odd dimensions. She's pretty much as fat as she is tall. She's in the 10th percentile for height, but the 75% for weight, and the 90% (!!) for her alien shaped head. She's just so different from Charlotte and I need to stop comparing them, but I refuse to believe that my two children will be so different.

I mean look at them, they're practically twins. 

Yeah, they're almost 2 years apart, but their heads are the same size and they almost weigh the same too.

I'm hoping whatever crap phase we're currently going through will pass soon, but in the meantime, I'm thankful for warm weather where I can pour a glass of wine and sit outside for a few minutes while she figures out that she needs to go to sleep without her mother doing 15 simultaneous soothing rituals.

In all honesty, I think we sometimes expect too much of her and forget that she's still a little baby. But her time is running out. She's got 3 months until she's no longer considered a little baby. So live it up, baby. Because soon? I will be in charge again. Right? omg. RIGHT?